Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to MONDAY MARCH 13, 2023

Here’s The Story……
Two men died and went to Heaven. St. Peter greeted them, and said “I’m sorry, gentlemen, but your
mansions aren’t ready yet. Until they are, I can send you back to Earth as whatever you want to be.”
“Great!” said the first guy, “I want to be an eagle soaring above beautiful scenery!”
“No problem,” replied St. Peter, and POOF! The guy was gone. “And what do you want to be,” St. Peter asked the other guy.
“I’d like to be one cool stud!” was the reply.
“Easy,” replied St. Peter, and the other guy was gone.
After a few months, their mansions were finished, and St. Peter sent an angel to fetch them back. “You’ll find them easily,”
he says, “One of them is soaring above the Grand Canyon, and the other one is on a snow tire somewhere in Detroit!” 😳😳
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t
forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Researchers are developing a stay-sober pill that will prevent you from getting drunk off
of alcohol. It’s perfect for the drinker who wants all the calories
of alcohol but none of the fun.” -Conan O’Brien

“A new study found that women think men holding a guitar are more attractive, even if they
are not playing it. In a related story, guys with an accordion will die alone.” -Jimmy Fallon

“YouTube temporarily pulled a New York zoo’s live stream of a giraffe giving birth. A zoo spokesman
said that their YouTube cam had been reported as containing nude content. All animals are nude!
Every one of them is nude except for your neighbor’s dog who has to wear
those stupid dog outfits that he clearly hates.” -James Corden

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made
babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.”
The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were
monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.”
The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me! Mommy said we came from monkeys.”
His father replied, “No, your mother was talking about her side of the family.” 😳😳😳😎

Friday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“How do you write women so well?
“Easy – I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.”

Answer: As Good As It Gets!
Melvin is a successful writer who suffers from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Once they get to know him, people have a hard time resolving his offensive, abrasive nature with the beautiful romance that he writes. This exchange takes place between Melvin and a receptionist at his publisher’s who doesn’t know him yet.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“They was giving me ten thousand watts a day you know, and I’m hot to trot. The next woman takes me on is gonna
light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars.”

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
In this teaser, your job is to discover the missing word that links the two given words.
The dashes indicate the number of letters in the missing word. Good luck!

i.e. WAR – FARE – WELL

  1. ARM _ _ _ _ _ LIFT
  2. CREAM _ _ _ _ ADDER
  3. WOOD _ _ _ _ BENCH
  4. SHOULDER _ _ _ _ _ POCKET
  5. CANDY _ _ _ _ WASHER

ANSWER: 1. ARM (CHAIR) LIFT

  1. CREAM (PUFF) ADDER
  2. WOOD (WORK) BENCH
  3. SHOULDER (PATCH) POCKET
  4. CANDY (DISH) WASHER

Monday’s Quizzler is…….
Based on the clue in parentheses, find a four-letter word that can be inserted backwards into the blank to complete a longer word.

Example: di____ve (a defeat)
Answer: dissolve (“A defeat” gives you LOSS, which is placed backwards in the blank: di_SSOL_ve.)

  1. s____ing (profound, extreme, or intense)
  2. si____ll (inspired by a feeling of reverence)
  3. re____ed (draw with force)
  4. s____hot (to extend over)

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. ​ ​​ ​ ​

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