Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to MONDAY MARCH 20, 2023

Guide for all women
A WOMAN’S GUIDE TO WHAT A MAN IS REALLY SAYING:

I’M HUNGRY.
I’m hungry.

I’M SLEEPY.
I’m sleepy.

I’M TIRED.
I’m tired.

I’VE GOTTA GO.
Get out of the way and stay away until it clears.

WHAT’S WRONG?
I don’t see why you’re making such a big deal out of this.

WHAT’S WRONG?
What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?

YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR.
I liked it better before.

YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR.
$50 and it doesn’t look that much different!

YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR.
For $50 they should have GIVEN YOU hair!

WILL YOU MARRY ME?
I might as well get tax benefits for going through these talks.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t
forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“He looks like a deranged Easter Bunny.”
–Darren McGavin as the Old Man in A Christmas Story

“We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy,
candy canes, candy corns, and syrup.”
–Will Ferrell as Buddy in Elf

“You guys give up? Or are you thirsty for more?”
–Macaulay Culkin as Kevin McCallister in Home Alone

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A man runs to the doctor and says, “Doctor, you’ve got to help me.
My wife thinks she’s a chicken!”
The doctor asks, “How long has she had this condition?”
“Two years,” says the man.
“Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?” asked the shrink.
The man shrugs his shoulders and replies, “We needed the eggs.” 😳😳😳

Friday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“My daughter is in pain. I don’t understand why she has to have this pain. All she has to do is hold out until after ten,
and IT’S PAST TEN! My daughter is in pain, can’t you understand that? GIVE MY DAUGHTER THE SHOT!”

Answer: Terms of Endearment!
Aurora and her daughter Emma have been at loggerheads, pretty much since Emma was born. But when Emma is diagnosed with cancer, Aurora becomes the mother that she always was in her heart, and fights to make her daughter’s last days as easy as possible. This was a very powerful line, delivered in the hospital near the end of Emma’s illness, when the pain was excessive.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“There is no chance, no untried operation. All hope lies with him and none with me. Imagine though the shock from
isolation, when he suddenly can hear and speak and see.”

Friday’s Quizzler is….
Find the correct words that fit with the following words:

Example: Air PORT Wine

Birth _ _ _ Light
Knock _ _ _ Line
Rock _ _ _ _ _ Bar

ANSWER: 1. DAY

OUT
CANDY

Monday’s Quizzler is…….
There was once a king of a foreign country. He had a psychic who always made fun of him when he wasn’t around. The king heard the psychic one day. He was going to ask the psychic one more question and then kill him. The psychic finds out about his plan. He had to save himself somehow. The king asked him when he (the king) would die. The psychic gave an answer that saved his life. What answer did he give?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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