WELCOME to THURSDAY MARCH 22, 2023
24 Simple Truths
- I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
- Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
- I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
- There is great need for a sarcasm font.
- How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
- Was learning cursive really necessary?
- Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5.
I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
- I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
- Bad decisions make good stories.
- You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you
just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
- Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after BluRay?
I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.
- I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my
ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
- I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
- I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
- I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday
night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
- I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
- How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because
you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from
cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
- Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
- Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
- Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone,
and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away,
in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
- The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974.
That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDEFUL WEDNESDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t
forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“The trouble with the rat race is that even if
you win, you’re still a rat.”
“Try not to become a man of success but rather
to become a man of value.”
“A good hockey player plays where the puck is. A great
hockey player plays where the puck is going to be.”
“A new survey found that one-third of married women with
pets say their animals are better listeners than their
husbands. When husbands heard that they were like, ‘Huh?
You say something?'” -Jimmy Fallon
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a
tour of heaven by Saint Peter. “Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the
tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments,
just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area.”
“Heck, Gloria,” the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, “we could have been
here ten years ago if you hadn’t heard about all that stupid oat bran,
wheat germ, and low-fat diets!” 😳😳😳😳
Tuesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“You want me to hold the chicken, huh?”
“I want you to hold it between your knees.”
Answer: Five Easy Pieces!
A classic story about going back to what you’ve run away from, this movie tells the tale of an angry young man returning to the upper class family he’d left behind, to deal with an aging and ill father. This scene happens when he’s in a diner and asks for an order of plain toast. When told that he can’t have an order of toast because it’s not on the menu, he orders a chicken sandwich and tells the waitress to hold everything, except the toast part!
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“A good conspiracy is unprovable. I mean if you can prove it, it means they screwed up somewhere along the line.”
Tuesday’s Quizzler is….
Six words that contain YO as a letter-pair have had all of their other letters removed and placed into a pool.
Put those letters back in their proper places. What are the words?
YO—, YO—-, -YO—, –YO–, —YO-, —-YO
Pool: A, B, B, C, C, D, D, D, E, E, E, E, I, L, M, M, N, N, N, N, P, R, R
ANSWER: YODEL, YONDER, MYOPIC, BEYOND, CANYON, EMBRYO
Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
Wearing a dress of vivid bright green
A bodice of pale tan
Showing off my sparkling clothes
As splendidly as I can.
Wearing a dress of vivid dark green
A bodice of lovely brown
I go to my wardrobe and start to change
Into my party gown.
Wearing a dress of beautiful scarlet
A bodice of pale green
My clothes fall off and I open my mouth
Let loose a silent scream.
Wearing a dress of snowy white
A bodice of white as well
A silver cloak around my shoulders
Tinkling with glass-blown bells.
WHAT AM I????
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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