WELCOME to FRIDAY APRIL 28, 2023
Laws of Household Physics
Ever notice that the laws of household physics are every bit as real as every other law in the universe?
Here are a few examples:
- A child’s eagerness to assist in any project varies in inverse proportion to the ability to actually do the work involved.
- Leftovers always expand to fill all available containers plus one.
- A newly washed window gathers dirt at double the speed of an unwashed window.
- The availability of a ballpoint pen is inversely proportional to how badly it is needed.
- The same clutter that will fill a one-car garage will fill a two-car garage.
- Three children plus two cookies equals a fight.
- The potential for disaster is in direct proportion to the number of TV remote controls divided by the number of viewers.
- The number of doors left open varies inversely with the outdoor temperature.
- The capacity of any hot water heater is equal to one and one-half sibling showers.
- What goes up must come down, except for bubble gum, kites and slightly used Rice Krispies.
- Place two children in a room full of toys and they will both want to play with the same toy.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND!, people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t
forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“The FDA is warning New Yorkers about Chinese food after a major Brooklyn distributor was
found with rats and birds nesting in boxes of ingredients. The distributor says
it’s all a misunderstanding – those ARE the ingredients.” -Seth Meyers
“The Wall Street Journal reported that America has a surplus of cheese and that every person
in the country would have to eat an extra three pounds of cheese this year to get rid of it. So
the next time the pizza guy judges you for ordering extra cheese,
just say, ‘I’m doing this for America.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“The electronics company LG identified a new phenomenon called low-battery anxiety. People
become nervous, distracted, and frustrated when their phones are about to die. If you are not
familiar with low-battery anxiety, it’s a real condition that primarily affects
people with no actual problems.” -James Corden
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Cletus is passing by Billy Bob’s hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob
doing a striptease in front of an old John Deere tractor. Butt clenched, he performs a slow pirouette,
and gently slides off the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders
forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his overalls fall down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt.
Then, grabbing both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his stained T-shirt underneath. With a final flourish,
he tears the T-shirt from his body, and hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.
Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says, “What the world’re ya doing, Billy Bob?”
“Good grief, Cletus, ya scared the bejeebers out of me,” says an obviously embarrassed Billy Bob. “But me ‘n
the wife been havin trouble lately in the bedroom d’partment, and the therapist
suggested I do something sexy to a tractor.” 😳😳😳😳
Thursday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“This sign was beautiful then. And now… feels as though lots of things are like that these days.
Broke down, beat up. Rotten. I really like what you guys did.”
This scene occurs in “Elvis” and takes place right up there on the hill, standing underneath the famous HOLLYWOOD sign, as Elvis Presley talks with a group of TV producers about possibly making a television Christmas special. As Elvis reminisces, he is sitting on one of the “O”s in the Hollywood sign, and he speaks to producer Steve Binder (Dacre Montgomery) and record producer Bones Howe (Gareth Davies). Austin Butler was Oscar nominated for Best Actor in a widely-acclaimed performance.
He likes this team of producers because he admired that they teamed up The Rolling Stones and James Brown, which seems like the perfect sort of blending of Elvis’s musical styles.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“You can’t just love something, you also have to take care of it.”
Thursday’s Quizzler is….
For every number, read the lettered clues and try to find what that clue refers to. Once you have found out all the words in that section, put them together to try to make a single, larger word. The lettered clues are in the order they are in the word. The spelling may be off, so you will have to sound it out.
A) Not out: _ _
B) One two three: _ _ _ _
C) Slang for mother: _ _
D) To avoid: _ _ _ _
Try the following.
a) Can’t hear: _ _ _ _
b) Opposite of out: _ _
c) 9th in alphabet: _
d) Stay away from: _ _ _ _
a) To fool: _ _ _ _
b) To lap: _ _ _ _
c) Eaten: _ _ _
a) For every: _ _ _
b) Nickname for sister: _ _ _
c) A portable shelter: _ _ _ _
a) Plus: _ _ _
b) Green in French: _ _ _ _
c) Must have them to see: _ _ _ _
d) Deliberate intention: _ _ _ _ _
a) Greek “a”: _ _ _ _ _
b) To exist: _ _
c) To touch lightly so as to cause laughter: _ _ _ _ _ _
a) Prefix for remove: _ _
b) A gentleman of rank: _ _ _ _
c) Qualified: _ _ _ _
Answer: 1) Definition (deaf-in-i-shun)
2) Duplicate (dupe-lick-ate)
3) Persistent (per-sis-tent)
4) Advertisement (add-vert-eyes-meant)
5) Alphabetical (alpha-be-tickle)
6) Desirable (de-sire-able)
Friday’s Quizzler is…….
Recorded by three hands,
I have no bounds.
People use me constantly,
My vastness astounds.
I’m used around the world,
Organized by ancient cultures.
Through me all things happen,
Children become geezers.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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