Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to TUESDAY May 2, 2023

Whatsamatta University’s Seminars For Men Fall Catalogue……

Once again, the female staff at Whatsamatta University will be offering courses for men of all marital
status in an attempt to help males and females understand each other better.
Attendance in at least 10 of the following is required.

Combatting Stupidity
You Too Can Do Housework
Resistance to Beer
How To Properly Fill An Ice Tray
We Do Not Want Sleazy Underwear For Christmas (Give Us Credit Cards)
Understanding The Female Response To Coming Home Drunk At 4:00am
Wonderful Laundry Techniques (also called “Don’t Wash My Silks”)
Get A Life – Learn To Cook
How Not To Act Like An Idiot When You Are Obviously Wrong
Spelling – Even You Can Get It Right
Understanding Your Financial Incompetence
You, The Weaker Sex
Reasons To Give Flowers
Garbage – Getting It To The Curb
You Cannot Always Wear Whatever You Please
How To Put Down A Toilet Seat
Give Me A Break – Why We Know Your Excuses Are Lies
How To Go Shopping With Your Mate Without Getting Lost
The Remote Control – Overcoming Your Dependency
Helpful Posture Hints For Couch Potatoes
Mother-in-Laws Are People Too
The Weekend And Sports Are Not Synonymous
How Not To Act Younger Than Your Children
You Too Can Be A Designated Driver
Male Bonding: Leave Your Friends At Home
Attainable Goal – Omitting Foul Expletives From Vocabulary
You Don’t Really Need That Porsche

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY!, people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t
forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“The FDA is warning New Yorkers about Chinese food after a major Brooklyn distributor was found
with rats and birds nesting in boxes of ingredients. The distributor says it’s all a
misunderstanding – those ARE the ingredients.” -Seth Meyers

“The Wall Street Journal reported that America has a surplus of cheese and that every person in the
country would have to eat an extra three pounds of cheese this year to get rid of it. So the next time
the pizza guy judges you for ordering extra cheese, just say, ‘I’m doing this for America.'” -Jimmy Fallon

“The electronics company LG identified a new phenomenon called low-battery anxiety. People become nervous,
distracted, and frustrated when their phones are about to die. If you are not familiar with low-battery anxiety,
it’s a real condition that primarily affects people with no actual problems.” -James Corden

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
One evening after dinner, a five-year-old son noticed that his mother had gone out and he asked, “Where did mommy go?”
His father told him, “Mommy is at a Tupperware party.”
This explanation satisfied him for only a moment. “What’s a Tupperware party, Dad?”
The man had always given my son honest answers, so he figured a simple explanation would be the best approach.
“Well, son,” he said, “at a Tupperware party, a bunch of ladies sit around and sell plastic bowls to each other.”
He nodded, indicating that he understood this curious pastime.
Then he burst into laughter. “Come on, Dad,” he said. “What is it really?” 😳😳😳

Monday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Don’t be so eager to be offended. The narcissism of small differences leads to the most boring kind of conformity.”

Answer: Tar!
A few scenes into the movie “Tar” an account of a fictional character named Lydia Tar, played by Cate Blanchett, we see her teaching a class in conducting at the famous music school in New York City Julliard. Things are going well, and then Tar advises a student named Max that he should listen to Bach more and to play Bach more.
The student precociously responds that “white, cis male composers is just not my thing.” Tar counters saying, “Don’t be so eager to be offended. The narcissism of small differences leads to the most boring conformity” but that’s just the beginning of her humiliating the student. The scene resonates of the cancel culture afflicting the arts these days, as she warns Max, “If Bach’s talent can be reduced to his gender, birth country, religion, sexuality, and so on, then so can yours.”

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“My dad believed in you. I’m not gonna make the same mistake.”

Monday’s Quizzler is….
AALLLOUGNINCEACELSSSEANRYTELNETCTEERS

If you cross out all unnecessary letters in the above string of letters, a logical sentence will remain. Can you read it?

Answer: If you cross out the letters in ALL UNNECESSARY LETTERS, then the remaining letters will spell A LOGICAL SENTENCE.

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
What is the meaning of this rebus?

marcus Brutus
john wilkes Booth
Billy the kid
Bonnie parker
clyde Barrow

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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