Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to WEDNESDAY May 3, 2023

Steven Wright 101

Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don’t get it…

I have a microwave fireplace in my house . . . The other night I laid down in front of
the fire for the evening in two minutes.

My VCR flashes 01:35, 01:35, 01:35, . . .

I have the oldest typewriter in the world. It types in pencil.

I couldn’t find the remote control to the remote control.

I invented the cordless extension cord.

Under my bed I have shoe box full of telephone rings. Whenever I get lonely I open it up
just a bit and I get a call. One time I dropped the box all over the floor and the phone
wouldn’t stop ringing, so I had it disconnected. I bought a new phone though. I didn’t
have much money so I had to buy an irregular phone–it had no number 5 on it.

I saw a close friend of mine the other day… He said, “Steven, why haven’t you called me?”
I said, “I can’t call everyone I want. My new phone has no five on it.” He said, “How long
have you had it?” I said, “I don’t know . . . My calendar has no sevens on it.”

I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went “Aaaaahhhh…”

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY!, people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t
forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but
whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” —Martin Luther King, Jr.

“We need women who are so strong they can be gentle, so educated they can be humble,
so fierce they can be compassionate, so passionate they can be rational, and so
disciplined they can be free.” —Kavita Ramdas. Read up

“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters
are seared with scars.” —Khalil Gibran.

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A psychotherapist was having a roaring business since he started from scratch. So much
so that he could now afford to have a proper shop banner advertising his wares. So he
told a kid to paint the sign board for him & put it above his shop entrance.

But, instead of his business building up, it began to slacken. He had especially noticed the
ladies shying away from his shop after reading the sign board. So he
decided to check it out himself. Then he understood why !
The boy found a small wooden board so he had split the word into the 3 words :

Psycho-
the-
rapist. 😳😳😳😳

Tuesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“My dad believed in you. I’m not gonna make the same mistake.”

Answer: Top Gun: Maverick!
In 2022’s mega-blockbuster hit “Top Gun: Maverick” (the movie that “saved the film industry”), Tom Cruise reprised his role Captain Pete “Maverick” Mitchell, and once again is tasked with teaching the Top Gun class how to become expert fighter pilots. In this scene he has arranged for the cancellation of one of the pilots’ Naval Academy Application, for reasons kept from that pilot. He tells the pilot that that he needs to trust his own instincts, that he shouldn’t think, he should just do. “You think up there, you’re dead. Believe me” he tells him. To which the young pilot charges: “My dad believed in you. I’m not gonna make the same mistake”; this charge stings harshly because the young pilot blames Maverick for letting his father down in the most serious way possible.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Basically, our best-selling product is the hand grenade.”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….
What is the meaning of this rebus?

marcus Brutus
john wilkes Booth
Billy the kid
Bonnie parker
clyde Barrow

Answer: Killer Bees (these people are all murderers, and each has “B” for an initial)

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
These well known sayings were translated by computer to another language then back into English. What were the original sayings?

It hits while the iron is warm.
Initially come, initially been useful.
As for evidence of the pudding there are times when you eat.
More than one road it removed the skin from the tomcat.
Is human to mad.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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