Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to THURSDAY May 4, 2023

THURSDAY’S PUNAGRAPHY…….

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

When it rains, why don’t sheep shrink?

If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?

Why is the word abbreviation so long?

Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? 😎

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT THURSDAY!, people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t
forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

These are actual sports quotes said by various people throughout the world.

Oiler coach Bum Phillips: When asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on
all the road trips, Phillips responded, “Because she is too ugly to kiss goodbye.”

New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:
“I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.”

And, upon hearing Joe Jacoby of the ‘Skins say “I’d run over my own mother to win
the Super Bowl,” Matt Millen of the Raiders said, “To win, I’d run over Joe’s mom too.”

Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann 1996: “Nobody in football
should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”

Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as a freshman because of academic
requirements: “I play football. I’m not trying to be a professor. The tests don’t seem
to make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff I haven’t been through in school.”

Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King:
“Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton.”

Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself
above his locker: “That’s so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my freaking clothes.”

Shaquille O’Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece:
“I can’t really remember the names of the clubs that we went to.”

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she liked the game.
“I liked it, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents,” she said.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“Well, everyone kept yelling, ‘Get the quarter back!'” 😳😳😳

Wednesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Basically, our best-selling product is the hand grenade.”

Answer: The Triangle of Sadness!
While on a luxury vacation ship, Carl (played by Harris Dickinson) is having deck side conversation with Winston (Oliver Ford Davies) and his wife Clementine (Amanda Walker). The small talk naturally turns to what they do for a living and Winston mentions that he and his wife have a family business together, involving the precise engineering of products used to uphold “democracy all over the world.” When Carl pursues the topic Winston and Clementine agree that their “best-selling product is the hand grenade.” It’s just one of the hundreds of socio-political ironies that are peppered throughout this unique film.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Perhaps forgiveness can, in some instances, be confused with permission.”

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
These well known sayings were translated by computer to another language
then back into English. What were the original sayings?

It hits while the iron is warm.
Initially come, initially been useful.
As for evidence of the pudding there are times when you eat.
More than one road it removed the skin from the tomcat.
Is human to mad.

Answer: 1. Strike while the iron is hot.

First come, first served.
The proof of the pudding is in the eating.
There is more than one way to skin a cat.
To err is human.

Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
Can you figure out the famous quote below?

Aye, dame, I am befuddled. But in the forenoon I will be clear-headed and you will still be unsightly.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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