WELCOME to MONDAY May 8, 2023
Doesn’t It Annoy You When…
…there’s a car alarm nearby that goes on for hours and the owner is nowhere to be found?
…you buy an answering machine so you won’t miss any calls, and then everyone hangs up when they hear the machine answer?
…there’s a cop car in sight and everyone thinks they have to drive 10-15 mph slower than the speed limit?
…you’re reading a magazine and all those annoying little subscription cards keep falling out?
…you tell someone that a door is locked and they try to open it anyway, like it’ll magically open for them and not you.
…someone says, “well, to make a long story short” and then they go on telling it for another 15 minutes.
…a friend or family member says “Yuck! This is awful!!” and then tells you to try some.
…you have to inform five different sales people in the same store that you’re just looking around.
…you rub on hand cream and can’t turn the bathroom doorknob to get out.
…a waiter or waitress is not around at any time other than right after you put food in your mouth.
…your tire gauge lets half the air in your tire when all you want is a pressure reading.
…there’s a dog in your neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING.
…the power goes out, and you discover every flashlight you have has dead batteries.
…someone gets in the express lane at the supermarket and writes a check or uses a credit card.
…the elevator stops at every floor and nobody gets on.
…you almost ALWAYS back up your computer files but the week you don’t, your hard drive crashes and you lose everything.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY!, people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t
forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“A controversial 1,200-year-old document has been found that shows evidence that
Jesus was married. I don’t believe it. What married guy gets to spend
all his free time with his 12 buddies?” -Conan O’Brien
“Chipotle is considering opening a new restaurant that specializes in hamburgers. After
what their burritos did, Chipotle now wants to ruin a new set of buns.” -Jimmy Fallon
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Two Scotsmen, brothers, Finlay and Jim Calder, were sitting in the pub discussing Jim’s big wedding day.
“Aye, it’s going to be grand,” said Jim. “I’ve got everything organized already, the flowers, the church,
the cars, the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag night.”
Finlay smiled and nodded, approvingly.
“Heavens, I’ve even got a new kilt to be married in,” continued Jim with a look of satisfaction.
“A kilt, that’s grand! You’ll look smart in that,” exclaimed Finlay, “and what’s the tartan?”
“Och,” uttered Hamish, “I imagine she’ll be in white.” 😳😳😳😎
Friday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“I wanted to start off the new year on a new foot. But, maybe you’re right. Maybe we would have been better off, if we had never gotten married.”
Answer: Everything, Everywhere, All At Once!
Ke Huy Quan won the Best Supporting Actor award for playing Waymond Wang in “Everything, Everywhere All At Once”. It is he who laments this sad quote in that film to his wife, Evelyn Wang, played by Michelle Yeoh, the Best Actress winner for this film. It is toward the end of the film, as the gentle Waymond confronts Evelyn and they discuss the regrets about life that weigh on her. She counters that she never said she thought they’d be better off, but he tells her, “You didn’t have to. It’s the way you look at me.” And as the ultimate stand on how he feels about her, he heart-breakingly tells her, “So, even though you have broken my heart yet again, I wanted to say, in another life, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you.”
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“When you’re starving, you’ll do anything.”
Friday’s Quizzler is….
I run forever,
With a roaring call.
Yet I have no throat,
Or any legs at all.
Rock wears away,
Whilst I grow.
You try to race me,
And receive a blow.
What am I?
Answer: A waterfall.
Water runs constantly and makes a sound described as a roar. Rock at the bottom of a waterfall
wears away, and it grows longer. If you race a waterfall, you’ll hit the rock below, and therefore receive a blow.
Monday’s Quizzler is…….
You are in a room that is an 8x8x8 perfect cube. There are no windows, or doors (don’t ask me how you got in there!) In the center of the floor there is a 12 inch pipe that is sticking 6 inches out of the floor. In the bottom of the pipe is a ping pong ball with a diameter that is one millimeter smaller than the inner diameter of the pipe. You have a 12 inch piece of string, a match, a magnifying glass, a 6″ ruler and a paper clip. How do you get the ping pong ball out of the hole?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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