WELCOME to MONDAY May 22, 2023
Here’s The Story……
There was a teenage boy who worked in the produce section of the local market. A man came in
and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy said he would go ask his manager about the matter.
So he walked into the back and said, “There’s some jerk out there who wants to buy only a half a head
of lettuce.” As he was finishing saying this he turned around to find the man standing right behind him,
so he added, “and this here gentleman wants to buy the other half…”
The manager okayed the deal and the man went on his way.
Later the manager called on the boy and said, “You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I
must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet and
we like that around here. Where are you from son?”
The boy replied, “Canada, Sir.”
“Oh really? Why did you leave Canada?” asked the manager.
The boy replied, “They’re all just up-tight, homely women and hockey players up there.”
“Really,” replied the manager, “My wife is from Canada!”
The boy replied, “No kidding! What team did she play for?”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY!, people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t
forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“A couple from Florida just set a record by taking their 200th Carnival Cruise.
The couple said, ‘What can we say, we love diarrhea.'” -Conan O’Brien
“A new study finds that if you’re drunk around sober people, you’ll think you’re
less drunk than if you’re around other drunk people. And if you’re drunk around
sober people, chances are you’ve got a problem.” -Jimmy Fallon
“On a bittersweet note, the world’s oldest person has died in Italy at the age of 117.
It’s tragic; she died in a knife fight with the world’s second-oldest person. I’m kidding!
Do you know how she died? Bungee-jumping.” -James Corden
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A young city boy visiting a dude ranch wanted to be appear macho, so he went out walking with one of the hired hands.
As they were walking through the barnyard, the visitor tried to begin a conversation, “Say, isn’t that fine-looking bunch of cows over there.”
The hired hand replied, “Not ‘bunch,’ it’s ‘herd.'”
“Herd of cows.”
“Sure, I’ve heard of cows!” finished the city boy excitedly,
“there’s a big bunch of ’em right over there.”😳😳😳
Monday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Don’t be so eager to be offended. The narcissism of small differences leads to the most boring kind of conformity.”
A few scenes into the movie “Tar” an account of a fictional character named Lydia Tar, played by Cate Blanchett, we see her teaching a class in conducting at the famous music school in New York City Julliard. Things are going well, and then Tar advises a student named Max that he should listen to Bach more and to play Bach more.
The student precociously responds that “white, cis male composers is just not my thing.” Tar counters saying, “Don’t be so eager to be offended. The narcissism of small differences leads to the most boring conformity” but that’s just the beginning of her humiliating the student. The scene resonates of the cancel culture afflicting the arts these days, as she warns Max, “If Bach’s talent can be reduced to his gender, birth country, religion, sexuality, and so on, then so can yours.”
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“My dad believed in you. I’m not gonna make the same mistake.”
Monday’s Quizzler is….
Monday’s Quizzler is…….
What word has the letters “spb”, next to each other, in that order?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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