WELCOME to TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 10, 2024

HERES THE STORY….
My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day. He has his food prepared for him.
He can eat whenever he wants.
His meals are provided at no cost to him.
He visits the Doctor once a year for his check-up, and again during the year if any medical needs arise.
For this he pays nothing, and nothing is required of him.
He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than he needs, but he is not required to do any upkeep.
He makes no contribution to the running or maintenance of the house.
If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.
He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep. He receives these accommodations absolutely free.
He is living like a King, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever.
All of his costs are picked up by others who go out, work hard, and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head…
I think my dog might be in Congress!

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT TUESDAY!, people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“A 91-year-old woman in Germany is under investigation for destruction
of property after she tried filling in words on a crossword puzzle on display
at an art museum. If charged, the woman could face time in
a four-letter word for enclosure.” -Seth Meyers

“Scientists have discovered that men are genetically programed to look
at other women. So sorry, ladies, it’s science.
I’ve got to do what I’ve got to do.” -Conan O’Brien

“Best Buy just purchased a company that provides emergency response
services. So, next time you’re having a heart attack, don’t worry, the Geek
Squad will be over tomorrow between 2:00 and 4:00 to save your life.” -Jimmy Fallon

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
The crowd had cornered a woman and was preparing to stone her.
Jesus raised his hand and spoke, “Let he among you who is without sin cast the first stone.”
From the back of the crowd a small woman picked up a huge rock and staggered toward to poor victim.
Jesus pointed a finger at her and said, “Stop it MOM! I’m trying to make a point here!”

Monday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this about???
“I despise rapists. For me, you’re somewhere between a cockroach and that white stuff that accumulates at the corner of your mouth when you’re really thirsty. But, in your case, I’ll make an exception.”

Answer: Con Air!
Cameron Poe, a highly decorated Army Ranger, comes home to Alabama to his wife Tricia, only to run into a few drunken regulars at the bar where she works. Cameron accidentally kills one of the drunks, and is sent to a federal penitentiary for involuntary manslaughter for seven years. He becomes eligible for parole and can now go home to his wife and daughter. Unfortunately, Cameron has to share a prison airplane with some of the country’s most dangerous criminals, who take control of the plane and are now planning to escape the country. Cameron has to find a way to stop them while playing along. Meanwhile, United States Marshal Vince Larkin is trying to help Cameron get free and stop the criminals, led by Cyrus “The Virus” Grissom.

Tuesday’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
This movie is about a former preacher who starts seeing unusual patterns in the crop fields.

Monday’s Quizzler is….​
A rich old lady died and left all her money to her grandchildren and her children. At the end of the will she stated that she had one last thing to give away: her precious diamond. She gave a clue to where it might be. She said “it’s in a cylinder surrounded by a thousand squares.” One grandchild said, “I know where it is,” and found it. Where was it?

Answer: In a roll of toilet paper.

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​😎😎
What is the longest pair of English words that are pronounced exactly the same but share no letter in common?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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