WELCOME to FRIDAY MARCH 7, 2025
English Grammar Jokes to Brighten Up Your Day
Think you know your English grammar, here’s your chance to prove it
They say that Grammar is the difference between knowing your bad and knowing you’re bad,
but all I know is that you should never date an apostrophe, they’re way too possessive.
I’m sure you saw what I did there. Get ready for more of the same.
Disclaimer: English grammar Nazis will approve. You have been warned.
Queue is spelled just with Q and four silent letters.
No, it’s not. They’re just waiting their turn.
This sentence contains exactly threee erors.
[
[
[
If you’re struggling to find the third, think about that fact.
Why did Shakespeare only write in ink?
Pencils confused him — 2B or not 2B?
How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to screw the bulb almost all the way in, and one to give a surprising twist at the end.
When I was a kid, my teacher looked my way and said, “Name two pronouns.”
I said, “Who, me?”
“So a police officer knocked on my door this morning. He asked, ‘Sir, we believe your dog
has been chasing a boy up the road on his bike.’ I replied, ‘Sorry, officer, you must have
the wrong house. My dog doesn’t own a bike.’”
A man in an interrogation room says, “I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present.”
The policeman says, “But you are the lawyer.”
“I know,” says the lawyer, “so where’s my present?” 😳😳
A harried man runs into an emergency room. “Nurse! Nurse! My wife’s in labor!
But she keeps screaming, ‘Shouldn’t, couldn’t, wouldn’t, can’t!’”
“Oh, that’s okay,” says the nurse. “She’s just having contractions.”
There are two types of people in this world, those who can work with incomplete information.
You can’t run through a campsite; you can only ran, because it’s past tents. 😳
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“A London architect has come up with a concept for a floating hotel that is
self-sustaining and could potentially move around the world. Great job,
architect. You just invented the cruise ship.” -Seth Meyers
“A new study shows that elected leaders don’t live as long as their defeated
opponents. So if there’s a candidate you really don’t like, vote for them.” -Stephen Colbert
“Researchers at the Center for Tobacco Control at Scotland University are working
on an invention: Talking packs of cigarettes that warn smokers about the side
effects of tobacco. I don’t know; that actually might make me START smoking.” -Jimmy Kimmel
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A judge is extremely frustrated with criminals for not using punctuation
in their defence statements, and says to the lawyers defending them,
“Do you know what happens to criminals who don’t use punctuation?”
The lawyers shake their heads. “They end up with very long sentences.”
Thursday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this about???
This movie is about a prisoner of war in the World War II.
Answer: “Stalag 17”
Born as William Beedle Jr. in Illinois, William Holden (1918-1981) became active in radio plays while attending Pasadena, California Junior College. Holden starred as a prisoner of war in the World War II film “Stalag 17” (1952), a cynical TV executive in the 1976 film “Network”, a Union Army doctor in “The Horse Soldiers” (1959), and a Swedish businessman spying on the Nazis in 1962’s “The Counterfeit Traitor”.
Friday’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this about???
This movie is about an autistic savant.
Thursday’s Quizzler is….
Each of the clues below describe a 70’s American TV show. Can you name each show?
- Ruffles, Pringles, Frito-Lays
- 911 !
- The aeronautically capable, habit wearing female (3)
- A four wheeled vehicle, driven by a person whose job it is to take passengers and their luggage where they want to go in exchange for a fee
- More than seven, nine is too much (3)
- Small abode on the treeless tract of land (5)
- Mixture of the sodium salts of various fatty acids of natural oils and fats
ANSWER: 1. CHiPs
- Emergency!
- The Flying Nun
- Taxi
- Eight is Enough
- Little House on the Prairie
- Soap
Friday’s Quizzler is….😎😎
Find the two six letter words that are combined in each row of letters.
Their letters are in the correct order.
- JSOYOMFUBELR
- SCDUARWDRLYE
- DASNAGEFERTY
- CLULOOTSCEHN
- USENEARSEYNE
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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