WELCOME to MONDAY SEPTEMBER 8th, 2025

“YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY…”

“Everything Comes In Threes” – Not true. In reality, everything comes in ones. Sometimes, 
when three “ones” come in a row, it seems like everything comes in threes. By the way, in 
medieval times, it was widely believed that everything came in twenty-sixes. They were wrong, 
too. It just took them longer to recognize the pattern.

“You Can’t Take It With You (when you die)” – Well…, that depends on what it is. If it’s your 
dark blue suit, you can certainly take it with you. In fact, not only can you take it with you, 
you can probably put some things in your pockets.

“You Learn Something New Every Day” – Actually, you learn something old every day. Just 
because you’ve just learned it, doesn’t mean it’s new. Other people already knew it, 
Columbus is a good example of this.

“You Get What You Pay For” – Clearly this is not true. Have you been shopping recently? 
Only a very naive person would believe that you get what you pay for. In point of fact, if 
you check your purchases carefully, you’ll find that you get whatever they feel like giving 
you. And if corporations get any more powerful, you soon might not even get that.

“NICE GUYS FINISH LAST” – Not true. Studies have shown that, on average, nice guys finish 
third in a field of six. Actually, short guys finish last. By the way, in medieval times, it was 
widely believed that nice guys finished twenty-sixth. You can see how limited those people were.
 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

 
“A new survey found that 46 percent of doctors have used Google or Yahoo to diagnose 
their patients’ symptoms. Yeah, last time I got sick, my doctor was like, ‘I’m sorry to tell 
you this, but you have ‘Server Not Responding.'” -Jimmy Fallon

“Two women from Minnesota are seeking to file discrimination charges after the police were 
called on them for breastfeeding at a public pool. Even worse, their kids were charged with
 illegally bringing in an outside beverage.” -Seth Meyers

“The company that makes Ritz crackers has recalled 16 products, including Ritz cheese cracker 
sandwiches, over concerns of salmonella. There’s definitely a moment when you’re feeling sick 
and you’re wondering, ‘Is this because I consumed salmonella or because I consumed an 
entire box of Ritz cheese cracker sandwiches?'” -James Corden 
 
 

 
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Two lawyers are in a bank, when, suddenly, armed robbers burst in.

While one of the robbers takes the money from the tellers, the other lines the 
customers, including the lawyers, up against a wall, and 
proceeds to take their wallets, watches, etc.

While this is going on lawyer number one jams something in lawyer number 
two’s hand. Without looking down, lawyer number two whispers, “What is this?”

To which the first lawyer replies, “It’s that $50 I owe you.” 😮😮
 

Friday*’s’ Movie Trivia of the day!  😥😥
A gifted janitor can solve any mathematical problem but struggles with his own personal problems. With help from a psychologist (played by Robin Williams) he tries to get his life back on track. Name the movie.
 
Answer: Good Will Hunting! 

Mondays Movie Trivia of the day!  
This movie is about a grumpy, obsessive-compulsive author who has his life turned upside down 
when he has to dog sit for his hospitalized neighbor.

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
Two old friends, Fred and Ted, had managed to work a party piece that no one could figure out. 
Fred would go out of the room, and Ted would invite the guests to select an item. They were then 
asked to continue to think of it so that Fred could read their minds. Fred would be blindfolded so 
that there could be no possibility of visual clues. Ted would then start to ask Fred questions:

On one occasion Ted asked:
“Did we think of the word sock?”
“Absolutely not.” replied Fred.
“Well, was it an ashtray?”
“No.”
“OK, is it the word plate?”
Again the answer was negative.
“So, are we thinking of the word china?”
“No.” replied Fred.
“Are we thinking of the word carpet?”
“No,” replied Fred, ” the word you are thinking of is chair.”

Everyone gasped. He was right.
How did Fred and Ted work their party piece?

ANSWER: It is simply the third letter of each item selected spells the answer.

soCk
asHtray
plAte
chIna
caRpet
 

Monday’s Quizzler is….​😎😎
How is failure represented in the rebus below?

Options:

A) Success
B) Victory
C) Triumph
D) Accomplishment

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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