Here’s The Story…..
In order to make the world a better place, the following rules will
take immediate effect across the planet.
- It is no longer permitted to be stupid and slow. You must choose one or the other.
- If in the course of parking your car you are not able to maneuver the vehicle into
a space in less time than it takes to undergo and recover from open heart surgery,
it is not permitted to park in that space. - If you are waiting for an elevator that is slow to come and you are the sort of person
who pushes the call button repeatedly in the belief that it will make a difference,
you are no longer permitted to use elevators. - Boxes of Christmas cards that carry messages like “May your holidays be wrapped in
warmth and touched with wonder” must bear a label on the outside of the box saying:
“Do Not Purchase – Message Inside Is Embarrassing and Sentimental.” - In office buildings and retail premises in which entry is through double doors and
one of those doors is locked for no reason, the door must bear a large sign saying:
“This Door Is Locked for No Reason.” - Liver and goat cheese will no longer be regarded as foods. In fancy restaurants,
salads may no longer contain anything that can be found growing at the side
of any public highway. - When standing in line at a retail establishment, it is not permitted to engage the sales
assistant in conversation regarding the weather, the health or personal relationships of
mutual acquaintances or other matters not relevant to the purchase.
7a. Anyone who reaches the front of a line and says, “Now what do I want?” and purses
his lips thoughtfully or drums his fingers on his chin while studying the ordering options
as if for the first time will be taken outside and shot.😁
- Any electronic clock on which the time is set by holding down a button and scrolling
laboriously through the minutes and hours is illegal. Also, when you are trying to set the
alarm for, say, 7:00 a.m. and the numbers get to about 6:52 and then suddenly speed up
and you discover that you have gone past the desired hour and have to start all over,
that is extremely illegal. - All Americans will appreciate irony. Britons will understand that two ice cubes
in a drink is not nearly enough.
[This list was written by Bill Bryson in his book I’M A STRANGER HERE MYSELF. The
original list contained several other items, but that would have made it too long for
publication here, and to tell you the truth the other items weren’t really that funny anyway.]
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“Researchers have published a letter from a Harvard student in 1743 asking his
parents for money. On the bright side, just this year his student loans
were finally paid off.” -Conan O’Brien
“Indonesia’s anti-drug chief is proposing that the country put narcotics offenders in a jail
on an island surrounded by crocodiles. The plan is to send the inmates food supplies every
day but they will have to survive on their own. This already sounds like a reality
TV show I would totally watch.” -James Corden
“New research has found that contrary to popular belief, it could be beneficial for women
to eat and drink while in labor. Though I don’t think the other people in the restaurant
would be too happy about it.” -Seth Meyers
VISIT MY ELECTRONIC STORE FOR GREAT SALES: https://xgcspc-vw.myshopify.com/
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
SOMETIMES…
Sometimes…
when you cry,
no one sees your tears.
Sometimes…
when you are in pain,
no one sees your hurt.
Sometimes…
when you are worried,
no one sees your stress.
Sometimes…
when you are happy,
no one sees your smile.
But fart just ONE TIME! 😁😂
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!
This movie follows Pi, a young Indian man who was the victim of a shipwreck, who
survived by staying on a small lifeboat with several animals, including a full grown tiger.
Answer: Life of Pi!
Mondays Movie Trivia of the day!
The film details the story of a commercial sword fishing boat, a vessel that was lost at sea, with all crew presumed dead,
following a tropical storm Hurricane.
Friday’s Quizzler is….
Can you take three letters away from a four-letter word and manage to have it mean the same thing?
Answer: Five, if you take away F, I, and E, it leaves V which is the Roman numeral for five.
Monday’s Quizzler is….😎😎
As you are reading this message, you will notice some spelling errors. Do not be frigtened, however. This is how you must anelyze:
First, find al of the missing, repeated, or incorrect letters.
Second, alow yurself to look at these and look at the wword that is represinted.
Finally, tell me a numbur that most commonnly is associated with the word.
Good luck.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. 😳😳
The World According to the Eucman! 