WELCOME to THURSDAY DECEMBER 11th, 2025
Holiday Eating Tips…..
- Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing
of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately.
Go next door, where they’re serving rum balls. - Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it’s rare.
In fact, it’s even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can’t find it any other time of year but now.
So drink up! Who cares that has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to
turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It’s a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me.
Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas! - If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Gravy does
not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes.
Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat. - As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk.
If it’s skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission. - Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating.
The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people’s food for free.
Lots of it. Hello? - Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year’s.
You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for
long naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a
10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog. - If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas
cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge.
Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They’re like a
beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you’re never going to see them again. - Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don’t
like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three.
When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day? - Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it’s loaded with the mandatory
celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards. - One final tip: If you don’t feel terrible when you leave the party or get
up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention. 😮😮
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT THURSDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“Christmas is that magical time of the year when we’re forced to spend money we
don’t want to spend to travel to places we don’t want to go to see the people
we really don’t want to see.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“According to a new survey, 75 percent of employees would rather get a cash bonus
than spend time with coworkers at a holiday party. All I can say to my staff is,
‘See you at the holiday party.'” -Conan O’Brien
“A Christmas celebration was nearly cancelled in England this week when after
the star donkey ate an entire set of Christmas lights. On the bright side;
that donkey’s poop.” -Seth Meyers
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
I wondered if I could get my husband to help me address Christmas cards,
as I had so much to do. I arranged everything we needed, then hopefully
pulled up a chair and said, “Come on, Dear, let’s get these out of the way.”
He glanced at the array on the table, turned away and went into the den,
only to return moments later with a high stack of cards, stamped,
sealed, and addressed.
“They’re last year’s,” he said. “I forgot to mail them.
Now let’s go out to dinner and relax.” 😮😬
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!
This movie is about a little brown alien with the glowing finger.
Answer: “E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial”, most commonly known as “E.T.”, was released in 1982,
directed by, you guessed it, Steven Spielberg.
Thursdays Movie Trivia of the day!
In this movie, a red liquid allowed humans to breathe underwater.
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
For each of the pairs of words below, insert a word in the blank space between them to form two separate words such that the inserted word finishes the first word and begins the second. For example, given “MAN __ ON”, you would insert the word “GO” to form “MANGO” and “GOON”. The hint gives the number of letters in each of the words that must be inserted.
BOW _ AGE GENE KING
LAND GOAT DIG SELF
PAR ___ ATE
Answer: LINE (bowline, lineage)
TIC (genetic, ticking)
SCAPE (landscape, scapegoat)
IT (digit, itself)
ROT (parrot, rotate) or DON (pardon, donate)
Thursday’s Quizzler is….😎😎
Why did the old lady always answer the door wearing her hat and coat?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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