WELCOME to MONDAY MAY 4th, 2026

Here’s The Story…..
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The
driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath,
and stopped inches from a shop window. For a second, everything was quiet in the cab.
Then the driver said, “Look, mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared the living daylights
out of me!” The passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare
you so much.” The driver replied, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as
a cab driver — I’ve been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years.” 😮😁😎
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL MONDAY ‘people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

Punagraphy continued…..
They’re truly punderful…
Warning: contains cringe-inducing wordplay
My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died,
he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but toucan play at that game.

A short psychic broke out of jail. They were a small medium at large.

I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

My first job was working in an orange juice factory,
but I got canned. I couldn’t concentrate.

A courtroom artist was arrested today. The details are sketchy.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind, it’s tearable.

A Spanish magician was doing a magic trick. He said, “Uno, dos…”
and he disappeared without a trace.

Did you hear about the pessimist who hates German sausage?
He always fears the Wurst.

If you ever get cold, just stand in the corner of a room for a while.
They’re normally around 90 degrees.

I used to be addicted to the Hokey Cokey,
but I turned myself around.

I’ve written a song about tortillas.
Actually, it’s more of a rap.

Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon.

The person who invented the door knock won the Nobel Prize.

Rick Astley will let you borrow any DVD from his Pixar collection,
apart from one. He’s never gonna give you Up.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  
Which 1999 David Fincher film starring Edward Norton, Brad Pitt, and Helena Bonham Carter – I’m sorry. I’ve just been handed a sternly worded note. Apparently the first rule of something called Project Mayhem is that I can’t… er, ask questions.

   Answer: Fight Club! Edward Norton, a depressed insomniac, is in a rut and tired of his Starbucks-and-Ikea lifestyle. To find peace, he begins spending his nights surrounded by dying people in 12-step support groups, despite the fact that he shares none of the ailments of those around him. Then during a business trip, he meets Tyler Durden, a soap salesman, and his life is changed forever – The first rule of the movie “Fight Club” is you do not talk about the movie “Fight Club”.

Mondays Movie Trivia of the day!  
A New Orleans, Louisiana prosecutor initiates the only criminal trial ever brought in the assassination of U.S. President John F. Kennedy.  

Friday’s Quizzler is….
There was once a massive evil being, so grand that it took gods from all over the world to just defeat his minions. Each minion needed to be fought with a special weapon in a special place or they would never die. Also, since gods are busy people, they could choose the date of the fight. The gods decided who would use what weapon, when, and where, based on if they could use the weapon well, if they liked the battleground or not, and if they were free that day. If they liked the battleground, then they would fight there. There were five minions, five dates, five gods, five battlegrounds, and five weapons:

5 Gods: Thor, Zeus, Ra, Apophis and Loki
5 Minions: Fiery Fiend, Metal Eye, Anti-God, Giant Worm, and the Undead Cyclops
5 Weapons: Heavenly Spear, Diamond Dagger, Doomsword, Night Bow and Staff of Fury
5 Battlegrounds: Easter Island, Stonehenge, Camelot, Sherwood Forest and Avalon
5 Dates: March 17, December 25, February 14, January 1, and December 31

Can you find out which god fought which minion where, when and with what weapon?

Clues:
1) Loki did not fight the Fiend, but did use the Bow.
2) Thor fought about 283 days before Zeus.
3) The one who fought the Cyclops is the one who fought on Dec. 31.
4) The one who fought the Fiend, who fought at Camelot on Jan. 1 didn’t use the Dagger.
5) The Spear user fought on Easter Island on March 17.
6) The one who fought in Sherwood Forest fought on Dec. 31.
7) Ra fought with the Sword in Avalon.
8) The Fiend was fought by Apophis.
9) The Giant Worm was defeated at Stonehenge.
10) The Anti-God was defeated on March 17.
 

ANSWER:  Thor – Anti-God – Spear – March 17 – Easter Island
Zeus – Giant Worm – Dagger – Dec. 25 – Stonehenge
Apophis – Fiend – Staff – Jan. 1 – Camelot
Ra – Metal Eye – Sword – Feb. 14 – Avalon
Loki – Cyclops – Bow – Dec. 31 – Sherwood Forest