WELCOME to WEDNESDAY MAY 6th, 2026
Here’s The Story…..
The interesting aspect of puns is that, the worse they are, the funnier.
Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks
at them and says: “I’m sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor.
The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one,
naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving
once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it, too.
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar
and announces: “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocaine during the root canal?
He wanted to transcend dental medication.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY WEDNESDAY ‘people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
Punagraphy continued…..
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
She was an unrepentant whisky-maker but he loved her still.
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, ‘You stay here, I’ll go on a head.’
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
A sign at a drug rehab centre read ‘Keep off the Grass.’
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. His grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, ‘No change yet.’
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
A backward poet writes inverse.
When cannibals ate the missionary they got a taste of religion.
In democracy, it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.
Don’t join dangerous cults. Practice safe sects!
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!
To celebrate his 39th birthday, a New Yorker and his two friends take a vacation at a New Mexico cattle ranch.
Answer: The correct answer was City Slickers! Three lifelong New York friends, each with personal problems, go on a cattle drive at a Western ranch. They meet an odd assortment of characters, including the rough, no nonsense trail boss Curly. After several adventures and Curly’s death from a heart attack, the men manage to complete the drive.
Wednesdays Movie Trivia of the day!
A race of giant insects from the Amazon send four of their number to impersonate a human family and
destroy humanity by blowing up a nuclear power plant.
Tuesday’s Quizzler is….
5 children are referred for articulation therapy at PS 102. Each child has a minor sound error that was quickly remediated. Can you find the child, his/her referring teacher, age, sound error, and therapy length?
- Only two students worked on a sound that was in their names.
- The youngest child corrected his sound in the shortest amount of time.
- The five students were: Freddie, Mrs. Hart’s 6-year-old student, the 8 year old,
the student working on “f”, and the one who took 5 weeks of therapy. - Mrs. Washington’s student kept practicing her sound by sticking out her tongue in class.
- Billy is not the oldest, but he is older than the students working on “s” and “sh”.
- Mrs. Smith asked the speech pathologist to teach her student the “r” sound.
- It took two weeks to learn the “sh” sound.
- Tommy has Mrs. Stevens.
- Freddie took one half the time to correct his sound as the girl in Mrs. Washington’s class, but he took two times as long as the kid working on “f”.
- Beth is the oldest and it took her 4 weeks to learn her sound.
- The “s” sound took two weeks less time to correct than the “r”.
ANSWER: Billy, age 7, R, 5 weeks, Smith
Suzie, age 6, S, 3 weeks, Hart
Freddie, age 5, SH, 2 weeks, Thomas
Tommy, age 4, F, 1 week, Stevens
Beth, age 8, TH, 4 weeks, Washington
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….😎😎
Blellow the alien was driving happily along in his new spacecraft when he crashed into 4 other aliens! They were all thrown out of their spacecraft and had temporary amnesia. All 5 aliens spoke Sporzdak (the universal alien language), so they were able to communicate, but they also each spoke second languages. Each alien had been traveling a different amount of time (in bzorks) in different colored spacecrafts. Each spacecraft weighs a different amount (including the 4 qorz one that Qulp has). Help the aliens figure out who has what color spacecraft, how long each had been traveling (in bzorks), what their second language was, and how much the spacecraft weighed (in qorzes).
Aliens – Blellow (M), Smorp (M), Szurkax (M), Qulp (F), and Qorxl (F)
Spacecraft color – Blue, Orange, Green, Red, and Purple
Weight of spacecraft (qorzes) – 2, 4, 5, 7, and 8
2nd Language – Qanxan, Sbarkjozn, Zronxhor, Jwrpl, and Boeiaix
Amount of time spent traveling (bzorks) – 3, 4.5, 6, 7.5, and 9
- The 5 aliens are: Blellow, the one with the red spacecraft, the one that has been traveling for 4.5 bzorks, the one with a spacecraft that weighs 7 qorzes, and the one that speaks Boeiaix.
- Blellow’s name is actually a mixture of the English words for two primary pigments. His spacecraft is the color that would result from mixing the two pigments in his name.
- The alien who has a spacecraft that weighs 3 qorzes more than Smorp’s does has been traveling in her spacecraft for 1.5 bzorks less than Szurkax has.
- Blellow’s spacecraft weighs more than Qulp’s does.
- The alien who speaks Sbarkjozn, who has a blue vehicle, has not been traveling for 4.5 bzorks.
- The green and red vehicles had not been running the longest.
- The alien that speaks Zronxhor has not been traveling for 7.5 bzorks and his name is not Szurkax.
- Either Qorxl’s vehicle or the red vehicle weighs 5 qorzes.
- The alien who speaks Jwrpl has a purple spacecraft.
- Smorp has either been traveling for 6 or 7.5 bzorks.
- Qorxl has not been traveling for 7.5 bzorks.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com: https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. 😳😳
The World According to the Eucman! 