WELCOME to MONDAY JUNE 1st, 2026
Funny Newspaper Headlines
Unintentional puns are called double entendres and they occur everywhere. Graduate students at
the Columbia School of Journalism for years collected those that occurred around the world in
newspaper headlines. Here is another healthy selection of them gathered from E-mail and the Internet.
Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Hospitals are Sued by Seven Foot Doctors
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Lawmen from Mexico Barbecue Guests
Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
Man is Fatally Slain
Milk Drinkers are Turning to Powder
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Never Withhold Herpes from Loved One
Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe out Literacy
NJ Judge to Rule on Nude Beach
Organ Festival Ends in Smashing Climax
Panda Mating Fails – Veterinarian Takes Over
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY ‘people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
QUOTES OF THE DAY…
1. “My advice to you is get married: If you find a good wife
you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.” —Socrates
- “If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s
birthday, just try forgetting it once.” — Aldo Cammarota
- “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a
computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.” —Will Ferrell
- “Never criticize your spouse’s faults; if it weren’t for them, your
mate might have found someone better than you.” —Jay Trachman - “Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.” —Phyllis Diller
- “Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman
I don’t like and give her a house.” —Rod Stewart
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!
This actress portrays the former British Prime Minister, in her later years of political life and retirement.
Answer: Margaret Thatcher! After two Academy Awards (“Kramer vs. Kramer” and “Sophie’s Choice”) Meryl Streep won her third for her role as Margaret Thatcher in “The Iron Lady” (2011). Meryl Streep portrays the former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, in her later years of political life and retirement. The role of Thatcher in her early political life was played by Alexandra Roach. Many critics claim that Streep’s role of Margaret Thatcher is one of her greatest screen performances.
Mondays Movie Trivia of the day!
This actor portrayed former Ugandan dictator Idi Amin in the 2006 film .
Friday’s Quizzler is….
You can find me on a face;
Frequently I’m in a vase.
I’m precise by definition,
Yet to one man I am different.
ANSWER: A dozen. A dozen numbers on the face of a clock, a dozen roses in a vase, and
although it means precisely 12, to one man (the baker), it means 13.
Monday’s Quizzler is….😎😎
The four sentences in Group A share a special feature. If you correctly identify that common feature, you will find that one of the sentences in Group B also has that same feature. What is the feature? What sentence in Group B can be added to Group A?
Group A:
A gold medal is better then a silver medal.
Jack had to lay down after carrying the pail of water.
She wrote her letter on pink stationary.
The price of the stock will very from day to day.
Group B:
Bill hit the baseball well.
He and I went to the football game.
The barren hill was devoid of trees.
The high-pitched sound produced a strange affect on the dog.
Victoria was the heroine of the story.
Walter had a minor role in the play.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com: https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. 😳😳
The World According to the Eucman! 