WELCOME to MONDAY JULY 13th, 2026

Here’s The Story….
An 80-year-old man loves baked beans even though they give him the most terrible wind.
But because it is his birthday, he decides to treat himself, and on his way home, he stops at
a cafe for a triple portion of beans on toast. As he emerges from the cafe, he is confident
that he can get rid of all the wind on the 15-minute walk home.
However, when he walks through the front door of his house, his first thought is he best go
to the bathroom to release as much of the wind as he can, but just as he is about to head
upstairs, his wife hurries into the hall and says, “I’ve got a birthday surprise for you.” Then,
before he can say anything, she puts a blindfold on him and leads him to his chair at the
head of the dinner table. “No looking,” she insists.
Just as she is about to reveal the surprise, the phone rings, and she hurries into the hallway
to answer it. The man is glad; with his wife in the hallway, he decides it’s safe to release one
or two little farts. Leaning first one way, and then the other, he allows nature to take its course.
But instead of a few silent puffs of air, they come out to the sound of machine gun fire. And
the stench is horrendous — so noxious that even he starts to feel faint. He desperately tries to
wave the smell away with his hands in the hope that it will have gone by the time his wife returns.
A few moments later, she does return and removes the blindfold. “Surprise!” she says, to which
the man discovers that sat in front of him are a dozen guests! 😯🙂😂
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL MONDAY ‘people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

Funniest Quotes……
“There’s no business like show business, but there are
several businesses like accounting.” —David Letterman

“The problem with doing nothing is that you never
know when you’re finished.” —Groucho Marx

“Don’t stay in bed unless you can make
money in bed.” —George Burns

“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize
I should have been more specific.” —Lily Tomlin

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well,
neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.” —Zig Ziglar

“My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re
called when you don’t have a job.” —Ted Turner

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  
Who was in the cast of “The Money Pit” and “Bachelor Party”?
  
Answer: Tom Hanks! Long before Tom Hanks won back-to-back Best Actor awards in the 1990s, he was starring in many silly comedies of the 1980s. “The Money Pit” starred Hanks with Shelley Long as a young couple who move from New York City to a country house that turns into a hilarious financial disaster. “Bachelor Party” was a sex romp that came out in 1984 and co-starred Adrian Zmed and Tawny Kitaen as Hanks’ soon-to-be wife in the film.
 
 
Mondays July Movie Trivia of the day!  
In what 80s movie were Doc and Marty at Twin Pines Mall?

Friday’s  Quizzler is….
I can be as blue as the sky or have a white top.

I roll through my world and crash into yours.

I can be as gentle as a newborn puppy or as vicious as

an angered bull, ripping through anything I find.

I will topple anything you put in my way if I am strong enough.

What am I?

ANSWER:  A wave.

A wave can have what is called a white cap.

A wave will roll through the ocean and crash into the beach.

It can be a small wake or a roaring tsunami.

It can topple almost any boat.

Monday’s Quizzler is….😎😎
Four women, Audrey, Brenda, Charlotte, and Dawn, and three men, Edgar, Frank, and George, are tennis players. These seven people consist of three heterosexual married couples, plus one widow. Whenever they play doubles, no man is on the same team as his wife. If a game of doubles is played, there is never more than one couple in this game. One day, four games were played:

1. Audrey and Edgar vs Brenda and Frank
2. Audrey and George vs Dawn and Frank
3. Brenda and Charlotte vs Frank and George
4. Charlotte and Edgar vs Dawn and George

Who is the widow?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com: https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.  😳😳