WELCOME to MONDAY AUGUST 31st, 2026
ENGLISH for TOURISTS………….
Cocktail lounge, Norway: “LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.”
On an Athi River highway: “TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.”
In a City restaurant: “OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.
Hotel, Japan: “YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.”
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: “YOU ARE WELCOME TO
VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS,
AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.”
Taken from a menu, Poland: “SALAD A FIRM’S OWN MAKE; LIMPID RED BEET SOUP WITH CHEESY
DUMPLINGS IN THE FORM OF A FINGER; ROASTED DUCK LET LOOSE;
BEEF RASHERS BEATEN IN THE COUNTRY PEOPLE’S FASHION.”
Supermarket, Hong Kong: “FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND
COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.”
From the “Soviet Weekly”: “THERE WILL BE A MOSCOW EXHIBITION OF ARTS BY
15,000 SOVIET REPUBLIC PAINTERS AND SCULPTORS. THESE WERE EXECUTED OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS.”
On the door of a Moscow hotel room: “IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO MOSCOW,
YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT.”
A laundry in Rome: “LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND
THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.” 😯
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY’people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A man was showing his friend a new set of matched golf clubs he had just bought.
“Doctor’s orders,” the man told his friend. “My wife and I have been gaining too much
weight and we went to see the doctor about it. He said we needed more exercise,
so I joined the country club and bought myself this set of golf clubs.”
“What about your wife?” the friend asked. “What did you buy her?”
“A new lawn mower,” the golfer said. 😯
FRIDAY’s Movie Trivia of the day!
I was an art expert. Who played me?
Answer: The correct answer was Thandie Newton!
Newton was cast as Dr. Laura Wilson in “2012”. Laura was President Wilson’s daughter and played a significant role in having art collectibles gathered and stored in the Himalayas to protect them. In one scene, Laura went to talk to her father when she told him the Director of The Louvre had just been killed with news of it all over the television. President Wilson then introduced her to Dr. Helmsley when Laura corrected him by saying she and Dr. Helmsley had just met at The White House. In a private moment with Dr. Helmsley, he told Laura about his childhood when his father would demand he read a bunch of books and give him ice cream after he completed each read. Laura expressed doubt over his story but Dr. Helmsley said he did too much reading in high school and no dating. Laura related to Dr. Helmsley’s story by informing him the first time she kissed a boy was at college. Newton starred in the films “Crash”, “W.” and “The Pursuit of Happyness”.
MONDAYS Movie Trivia of the day!
I became leader of the United States after President Wilson died. Who played me?
FRIDAY’s Quizzler….
Below are incomplete words. Place two letters in each bracket so that you can complete the
word on the left and begin the word on the right. Good luck.
Perfu (–) rge
Barb (–) itor
Again (–) ain
Sta (–) sture
Giraf (–) deral
Featu (–) medy
Answer: Perfume – merge
Barbed – editor
Against – stain
Stage – gesture
Giraffe – federal
Feature – remedy
MONday’s Quizzler is….
Far off in the heart of the Rocky Mountains, there is a place called Camp Curatos. No, it is not named after some random tribe; rather, it is a camp dedicated to curing teens of all ages of bad and childish habits. Recently, the camp advisors have taken on five new challenges (3 boys – Mark, Joseph, and Kev; and 2 girls – Selene and Ariadne). However, in their files, the advisors seem to have gotten a few facts mixed up about these five teens! Can you help them piece together the facts?
- The 5 teens are Joseph, the 12-year-old, the pencil-snapper, the procrastinator, and the one rewarded with ice cream.
- Selene is one year younger than the procrastinator.
- The pencil-snapper left after the shortest amount of time; he was rewarded with a Chevy (which he was able to drive).
- Ariadne is not the oldest; however, she did take the longest time to leave Camp Curatos.
- The 15-year-old took 23 days to be cured of his nail-chewing habit.
- Mark received $20; CDs were sent to Joseph.
- The 12-year-old spent 3 weeks in camp, but it was well worth his time, for he could now pay attention in class without fidgeting.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com: https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. 😳😳
The World According to the Eucman! 