WELCOME to TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 14th, 2026
 
Marriage Definitions

BACHELOR: A nice guy who has cheated some nice girl out of her alimony.

BRIDE: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

COMPROMISE: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.

DIPLOMAT: A man who can convince his wife she would look fat in a fur coat.

GENTLEMAN: A husband who steadies the stepladder so that his wife will not fall while she paints the ceiling.

HOUSEWORK: What the wife does that nobody notices until she doesn’t do it.

HUSBAND: A man who gives up privileges he never realized he had.

JOINT CHECKING ACCOUNT: A handy little device which permits the wife to beat the husband to the draw.

LOVE: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.

MOTHER-IN-LAW: A woman who destroys her son-in-law’s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

MRS.: A job title involving heavy duties, light earnings, and no recognition.

SPOUSE: Someone who will stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn’t have had if you’d stayed single in the first place.

WIFE: A mate who is forever complaining about not having anything to wear at the very
same time that she complains about not having enough room in the closet.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT TUESDAY’people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

 
 Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A Baptist pastor was presenting a children’s sermon.
During the sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was.
Asking questions during children’s sermons is crucial. Asking children questions
in front of a congregation can also be very dangerous.
After the pastor asked the children if they knew the meaning of the resurrection,
a little boy raised his hand. The pastor called on him And the little boy said,
“I’m not sure, but I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more
than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor.” 🤔🤣

MONDAY’s Movie Trivia of the day!      
In “A Tree Grows In Brooklyn” the Nolans moved into a new flat. This was a relocation of necessity, more than convenience, since their quarters were now even smaller than before (but had windows, which was a plus). The former tenant left something behind for them, too. What was it? 

Answer: A piano! The piano couldn’t be moved, so remained in the apartment (albeit temporarily) and was key to the story. Johnny came home to his new residence, lost and confused, and sat down and played the instrument skillfully. The song he sang was about a girl named Laurie, which became the name given to his unborn child – one he never survived to see.
 
 
TUESDAYS Movie Trivia of the day!  
The author of “A Tree Grows In Brooklyn” was Betty Smith, and the book was the only one she wrote that got remembered. Her life was not such a pleasant one as time went (depression overcame her) but her youth was very right. She had even attended The Yale School Of Drama with a student who would eventually direct the filming of her novel. Who was he?

MONDAY’s Quizzler….
If I were to bleed from a wound or two,
You’d note in amazement, my blood is blue.
I’m found as a fossil in ancient stone,
Yet living today, I’m almost a clone.
My eyes will adjust a great many fold,
To see by the moonlight, who I can hold.
If I could tell my mate, I would say it is true,
These wonderful eyes are only for you.
I’m one of the last to die from pollution,
A living exception to evolution.

Answer:  A horseshoe crab.

As an adult, some may reach about 20 inches and if wounded indeed their blood is copper based and blue unlike most other blood.

The Horseshoe crabs that swim ashore each year to mate are almost exactly the same as those found in the fossil record dating back an estimated 300 million years or more according to scientists. That’s 100 million years before the dinosaurs!

Studies of their unusual eyes have shown that they become much more receptive at night regulated by their own internal clock. One article even stated a million times more receptive! Even studied for years in total darkness, the eyes continue to adjust back and forth for night and day. Since they locate food primarily by chemical scent, the only useful purpose for the amazing eyes seems to be their use to locate mates during their short breeding cycle. Hence, they could honestly tell their mate (if they could speak) “I only have eyes for you.”

Very hardy, they are almost impervious to pollution and are often the last living creatures in polluted bays. Staying unchanged over millions of years makes this creature an enigma to evolutionists who must try to explain why they did not evolve or change over such a long period.

Not really closely related to a crab, these creatures are more like spiders and scorpions.

The hint? .. the shoe you probably got, and beauty refers to the classical horse adventure story “Black Beauty”.

Search the web to learn more about these amazing creatures!

TUESday’s  Quizzler is….
Dead on the field lie ten soldiers in white,
felled by three eyes, black as night.
What’s going on here?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com: https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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