WELCOME to MONDAY SEPTEMBER 211th, 2026
 
HERE’S THE STORY….
Two guys who worked together were both laid off, so off they went to the unemployment office.
When asked his occupation, the first guy said, “Panty stitcher…I sew the elastic onto women’s panties.”

The clerk looked up panty stitcher in her table. Finding it classed as unskilled labor,
she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.

The second guy was asked his occupation. “Diesel fitter,” he replied.

Diesel fitter is listed as a skilled job, so the clerk gave the second guy $600 a week. When the f
first guy found out he was furious. He stormed into the office to find out
why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay.
The clerk explained, “Panty stitchers are unskilled, and diesel fitters are skilled labor.”
“What skill?!” yelled the panty stitcher. “I sew the elastic, and he pulls on it and says,
“Yep, dese’ll fit ‘er.” 😕😁
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY ‘people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

 
 Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A co-worker was telling us about her sister who was coming to visit her for the holidays.
Someone asked how old her sister was, at which she paused, thought for a bit, and
then answered, “She’s half as old as I am, that’s how I always remember.”
So someone else (okay, it was me) said, “That’s neat… So every year that you age,
she only ages half a year?” My co-worker thought about that, and then said,
“Oh, yeah, I guess it only works on even years.” 🙃😎

FRIDAY’s Movie Trivia of the day!  
Matriarch Katie Nolan (played by the always reliable Dorothy McGuire) had something of a contentious relationship with her her daughter Francie. The love was mutual but, for lack of a better description, combustible. Francie got visibly enraged at her Mother once in particular in the film. Which of these best describes why?

Answer: Katie had decided to pull Francie out of school so that she could work and earn money for the family.
In Katie’s mind, Neely needed an education whereas Francie didn’t. Mrs. Nolan’s final gentleman friend, Mr. McShane, was viewed favorably by everyone and he was such a gentleman about the adoption, noting that the infant had never laid eyes on her ‘real’ father so no disrespect was there – he was quick to say he would NEVER attempt to indulge in replacing Johnny to the older children. And, finally, Katherine would have nothing disgraceful (whether it be factual or not) placed on her husband’s death certificate. She was quite firm about that!
 
MONDAYS Movie Trivia of the day!  
Neely Nolan, the young son who got rather thrust into the role of being the man of the family, often behaved like what he thought a man would behave like (although he was generally unsure if he was doing it right). His devotion to his big sister was unchallengeable, though, and he stuck with her through thick and thin. As Francie matured she asked him once, in a softer moment, “Am I good looking?”. He grumbled out a response to that girly question. What did he say?

FRIDAY’s Quizzler….
Two professors were sitting in front of an open fire at the local university’s elite Professor’s Club.
They were chatting about some of their new classes. During the course of their conversation,
one of the professors asked the other if he would like to sample some fine Irish Whiskey while they talked.

“Absolutely! That would be splendid!”

“Waiter! Bring me a bottle of your finest Irish Whiskey please”, called the Professor.

“Certainly sir”, replied the waiter.

A few minutes later, the waiter returned and said, “Here you go sir. This bottle of ‘Jameson’ is one
of Ireland’s best single malt grain whiskeys. I hope you both enjoy it!”

“Thank you waiter. I’m sure we will. Can you let me look at the bottle please before you go?”

The waiter passed the bottle to the Professor. The label read:

“Jameson Genuine Irish Single Malt Grain Whisky”.

Without opening the lid of the bottle or tasting, smelling or examining its contents,
the Professor became very angry with the waiter saying, “This is NOT genuine Irish whiskey.
It is a fraud and absolute rubbish! Take it back!”
By simply reading the label, and without smelling, examining or tasting the fluid first,
how did the Professor know that the contents of the bottle was not Irish whiskey?

Answer:  The Professor knew it was not really Irish Whiskey because of the difference in how the Irish spell
“whiskey” (with an “e”) and how the Scottish spell it – “whisky”.
The label read: “Jameson Genuine Irish Single Malt Grain Whisky”.
A true bottle of Irish whiskey would have read: “Jameson Genuine Irish Single Malt Grain Whiskey”.
There appears to be no known reason, legal or otherwise why this difference exists.    

MONday’s  Quizzler is….
What phrase is this?

Interrogator. “Who stole the gold?”

Parsley. “…”
Sage. “…”
Rosemary. “…”
Thyme. “It was Basil.”

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com: https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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