WELCOME to FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 18th, 2026
HERE’S THE STORY….
In order to make the world a better place, the following rules will take immediate effect across the planet.
- It is no longer permitted to be stupid and slow. You must choose one or the other.
- If in the course of parking your car you are not able to maneuver the vehicle into a space in less
time than it takes to undergo and recover from open heart surgery, it is not permitted to park in that space. - If you are waiting for an elevator that is slow to come and you are the sort of person who pushes the
call button repeatedly in the belief that it will make a difference, you are no longer permitted to use elevators. - Boxes of Christmas cards that carry messages like “May your holidays be wrapped in warmth and touched
with wonder” must bear a label on the outside of the box saying: “Do Not Purchase – Message Inside Is Embarrassing and Sentimental.” - In office buildings and retail premises in which entry is through double doors and one of those doors I
s locked for no reason, the door must bear a large sign saying: “This Door Is Locked for No Reason.” - Liver and goat cheese will no longer be regarded as foods. In fancy restaurants, salads may no longer
contain anything that can be found growing at the side of any public highway. - When standing in line at a retail establishment, it is not permitted to engage the sales assistant in
conversation regarding the weather, the health or personal relationships of mutual acquaintances
or other matters not relevant to the purchase.
7a. Anyone who reaches the front of a line and says, “Now what do I want?” and purses his lips thoughtfully
or drums his fingers on his chin while studying the ordering options as if for the first time will be taken outside and shot.
- Any electronic clock on which the time is set by holding down a button and scrolling laboriously through
the minutes and hours is illegal. Also, when you are trying to set the alarm for, say, 7:00 a.m. and the numbers
get to about 6:52 and then suddenly speed up and you discover that you have gone past the desired hour
and have to start all over, that is extremely illegal. - All Americans will appreciate irony. Britons will understand that two ice cubes in a drink is not nearly enough.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND ‘people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
SOMETIMES…
Sometimes…
when you cry,
no one sees your tears.
Sometimes…
when you are in pain,
no one sees your hurt.
Sometimes…
when you are worried,
no one sees your stress.
Sometimes…
when you are happy,
no one sees your smile.
But fart just ONE TIME! 😳😁😂🤣
THURSDAY’s Movie Trivia of the day!
Upon Johnny’s death in “A Tree Grows In Brooklyn” his beloved (and heartbroken) daughter was fervent about collecting
one of his possessions, which she cherished as a tangible memory of him. What did she quickly go out and claim that had belonged to her father?
Answer: His shaving mug at the barber shop! From the Civil War, up until WWII the barbershop was more than just a place for grooming. Men, notably the Irish, would gather there and socialize, discuss things and even gossip tirelessly. A man’s shaving mug was a medal of sorts – made with his name on it and displayed proudly between shaves. They were actually very costly at the time as well, costing sometimes up to five dollars to own. Francie assuredly wanted Johnny’s as it was almost a monument to him and the barber was proud to give it to her. No man used another man’s mug after all, and the family deserved it as their own.
FRIDAYS Movie Trivia of the day!
Matriarch Katie Nolan (played by the always reliable Dorothy McGuire) had something of a contentious relationship with her her daughter Francie. The love was mutual but, for lack of a better description, combustible. Francie got visibly enraged at her Mother once in particular in the film. Which of these best describes why?
THURSDAY’s Quizzler….
Once, there was a lovesick tiger who fell in love with a lovely lioness. However, her pride rejected him,
and they were not allowed to be together because he was different.
Heart sickness and grief caused the lovely lioness to lose all of her fur. Even though it was a sad sight,
the tiger was overjoyed! Now he would shave off all of his fur. Then he could pretend to be a large lion and be with his beloved.
Unfortunately, they did not get to live happily ever after! His plan failed. Even with his fur gone, everyone could tell he was a tiger.
Ignoring any obvious size differences, how did the pride know that he was obviously still a tiger?
Answer: Tigers have striped skin as well as striped fur
FRIday’s Quizzler is….
Two professors were sitting in front of an open fire at the local university’s elite Professor’s Club.
They were chatting about some of their new classes. During the course of their conversation,
one of the professors asked the other if he would like to sample some fine Irish Whiskey while they talked.
“Absolutely! That would be splendid!”
“Waiter! Bring me a bottle of your finest Irish Whiskey please”, called the Professor.
“Certainly sir”, replied the waiter.
A few minutes later, the waiter returned and said, “Here you go sir. This bottle of ‘Jameson’ is one
of Ireland’s best single malt grain whiskeys. I hope you both enjoy it!”
“Thank you waiter. I’m sure we will. Can you let me look at the bottle please before you go?”
The waiter passed the bottle to the Professor. The label read:
“Jameson Genuine Irish Single Malt Grain Whisky”.
Without opening the lid of the bottle or tasting, smelling or examining its contents,
the Professor became very angry with the waiter saying, “This is NOT genuine Irish whiskey.
It is a fraud and absolute rubbish! Take it back!”
By simply reading the label, and without smelling, examining or tasting the fluid first,
how did the Professor know that the contents of the bottle was not Irish whiskey?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com: https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. 😳😳
The World According to the Eucman! 