Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Tuesday, September 19, 2017.   
Older Than Dirt Quiz:
Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about.
Your age ratings is at the bottom.
1. Candy cigarettes
2. Coffee shops with tableside juke boxes
3. Home milk delivery in glass bottles
4. Party lines on the telephone
5. Newsreels before the movie
6. TV test patterns that came on at night after the last show and were there until TV shows
started again in the morning (there were only 3 channels [if you were fortunate]).
7. Peashooters
8. 45 RPM records
9. Wash tub wringers
10. Hi-fi’s
11. Metal ice trays with lever
12. Blue flashbulb
13. Cork popguns
14. Ford Zephyrs
If you remembered  0-3 = You’re still young
If you remembered  4-6 = You are getting older
If you remembered  7-10 = Don’t tell your age,
If you remembered 11-14 = You’re older than dirt!
Don’t forget to test your really OLD friends….That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!
Have a great Tuesday people and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“The government has unveiled a new website that predicts your financial worth after graduating college. It doesn’t give you a number, just tells you which Starbucks you’ll be working at and for how long.” -Conan O’Brien
“A math blogger says he’s figured out ‘the world’s favorite number.’ It turns out that it’s 7. The least popular number? The fake phone number you get when you tell a girl you’re a math blogger.” -Jimmy Fallon
“A pair of Ohio teens were caught this weekend using a beer bong to drink full two-liter bottles of Mountain Dew. It’s a rare case where the punishment is the crime.” -Seth Meyers
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
My sister didn’t do as well on her driver’s ed test as she’d hoped. It might have had something to do with how she completed this sentence: “When the ___ is dead, the car won’t start.” She wrote: “Driver.”😐
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
 ‘Shoes? Animals don’t wear shoes…’
ANSWER: Ferngully: The Last Rainforest! Batty says this while carrying Zack…before slamming headfirst into a tree.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
 ‘You have to give it time to heal.’
Monday’s Quizzler is……….  
Yeah, they keep me locked up, but I guess I’m thankful, in short.
I hand out the beatings, while my neighbors import and export.
We make a good team, especially me as the muscle,
But with two dozen guards, I’m glad we never tussle.
But really, I got a lotta my own connections,
Imports, exports, with thousands collectin’.
But between us, there’s really no competition,
I call it harmonizin’ cause we’re on the same mission.
No one is unnecessary, or, you know, too small,
The guy upstairs is the boss of it all.
He’s also incarcerated, but for his good I bet it is,
Business is good, so long as we get the messages.
Question: Who’s doing the talking, and who are the other players in this riddle?
(there are a total of 28, minus the narrator’s connections)
ANSWER: The parentheses are used to number the parts mentioned. The HEART (1) is the one doing the talking. He is thankful to be “locked up” or guarded by the “two dozen guards,” the (24) ribs that normal humans have in 2 pairs. The ribs protect, and guard both the heart and the LUNGS. The LUNGS are the ‘neighbors’ (2) that have the job of “Importing” and “Exporting” Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide. The heart is- literally speaking- the muscle, and ‘hands out the beatings’ (heart beats). Of course, the heart itself has many “connections” or veins, arteries, and capillaries that “import” and “export” that valuable fluid we call blood. None of these members’ job is unnecessary, or small, and they never compete with each other because they have the one mission of keeping a person alive. And, last but not least, the “guy upstairs” who is “the boss of it all” is ‘incarcerated’ by-yes-the skull. He is none other than the BRAIN (1), which sends electrical messages to all the other members via nerves, which tell them what to do. Business is good so long as these messages are sent. If they aren’t, nothing is moving, and….well, then you’re DEAD. (28)
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
We’ve all seen a rebus like “midstuckdle” (stuck in the middle). The following clues are “revrebuseserse” (rebuses in reverse). That is, the clues below are answers to rebuses which all use the “in” construction.
However, the original rebus from the clues below will actually form a word. For example, “Not old in actually existing” would be “renewal” (new in real). Can you solve the rest?
1. A short poem in scarlet
2. A room-dividing structure in a female pig.
3. A joining word in a close friend
4. A head of corn in grasping tightly
5. Nothing in what your eyes do
6. A wild beast’s shelter in stinking decay
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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