WELCOME to Wednesday, September 20, 2017.
Men are complex creatures…
If you kiss him, you are easy
If you don’t, you are frigid
If you praise him, he thinks you are fake
If you don’t, he thinks you are ungrateful
If you agree to all his likes, you are submissive
If you don’t, you are controlling
If you visit him often, he thinks you’re desperate
If you don’t, he thinks you’re not interested
If you are well dressed, he says you are vain
If you don’t, you are a dog
If you are jealous, he say’s you’re possessive
If you’re not, then he fools around
If you attempt a romance, he say’s you are cheap
If you don’t, he thinks you are cold
If you are a minute late, he says you are fussy
If he is late, he says you’re impatient
If you visit another man, you are fooling around
If he is visited by another woman, “oh we’re just friends”
If you kiss him once in a while, he says you’re too shy
If you kiss him often, he says you’re too forward
If he fails to help you in crossing the street, he brings up the feminist movement
If he does, he expects to be rewarded
If you stare at another woman, he says you’re jealous
If he is stared at by other men, boy, you’re in big trouble..
If you talk, it’s always too much
If you listen, it’s never enough
So complex, yet so predictable
So macho, yet so sensitive (usually to their own feelings)
So confusing, yet so funny
but most of all, So irritating, yet so irresistible…MEN!
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!
Have a great Wednesday people and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. – Zsa Zsa Gabor
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential foodgroups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. – Alex Levine
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. – Rodney Dangerfield
Money can’t buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. – Spike Milligan
I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. – Mark Twain
Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was “Shut Up”. – Joe Namath
I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap. – Bob Hope
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. – W.C. Fields
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. – Will Rogers
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
An elderly woman was returning home from a Thursday mid-week service at her local church. As she unlocked her door, an intruder startled her.
She caught the man in the very act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled,
‘STOP! Acts 2:38!’ The burglar stopped in his tracks.
The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done.
As the officer handcuffed the man to take him to jail, he asked the burglar,
‘Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was quote a scripture to you.’
‘Scripture?’ replied the burglar. ‘I thought the lady had an axe and two 38’s!’😎
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???
‘You have to give it time to heal.’
ANSWER: Digimon: The Movie! This is the phrase that lets Rapidmon and Magnamon
know what they have to do to stop the virus inside Antiramon.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
‘What if you were unable to wake from that dream?’
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
We’ve all seen a rebus like “midstuckdle” (stuck in the middle). The following clues are “revrebuseserse” (rebuses in reverse). That is, the clues below are answers to rebuses which all use the “in” construction.
However, the original rebus from the clues below will actually form a word. For example, “Not old in actually existing” would be “renewal” (new in real). Can you solve the rest?
1. A short poem in scarlet
2. A room-dividing structure in a female pig.
3. A joining word in a close friend
4. A head of corn in grasping tightly
5. Nothing in what your eyes do
6. A wild beast’s shelter in stinking decay
ANSWER: 1. Reversed (verse in red) 2. Swallow (wall in sow) 3. Mandate (and in mate) 4. Clearing (ear in cling)
5. Senile (nil in see) 6. Rodent (den in rot)
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Can you decipher this?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/