WELCOME to Friday, September 22, 2017.
REALLY BAD PUNOGRAPHY 2…..
Did you hear about the 2 silk worms in a race? It ended in a tie!
What underwear does clouds wear? Thunderwear!
Why is a baseball game a good place to go on a hot day? Because there are lots of fans.
The best time to open a gift is the present.
What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer’s day? I’m bacon!
If anything is possible, is it possible for something to be impossible?
Best Summer Vacation Book Never Written: “Where to Stay on Vacation” by Moe Tell.
You can’t get on the same page with someone who has a different book.
I work in a library. Literally, all we do is judge books by their covers.
What do ghosts serve for dessert? I Scream.
A garage sale is actually a Garbage sale but the “b” is silent.
No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
I thought I understood the meaning of “When Pigs Fly” but then… the swine flu.
What did the tree say to autumn? Leaf me alone.
What tea do hockey players drink? Penaltea!
Where do fish work? The offish.
What did the beach say as the tide came in? Long time no sea.
Do you know why I make puns? Because it’s my respunsibility.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
Don’t look forward to the day you stop suffering, because when it comes, you’ll know you’re dead. – Tennessee Williams
Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives. – Sue Murphy
We all get heavier as we get older because there’s a lot more information in our heads. – Vlade Divac
There are days when it takes all you’ve got just to keep up with the losers. – Robert Orben
Happiness to a dog is what lies on the other side of the door. – Charleton Ogburn
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet every evening down at the bar. – Drew Carey
Silence is foolish if we are wise, but wise if we are foolish. – Charles Caleb Colton
Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. – Thomas Edison
Sweat is the cologne of accomplishment. – Heywood Hale Brown
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Harvey’s grandfather clock suddenly stops working right one day, so he loads it into his van and takes it to a clock repair shop.
In the shop is a little old man who insists he is Swiss, and has a heavy German accent. He asks Harvey, “Vat sims to be ze problem?”
Harvey says, “I’m not sure, but it doesn’t go ‘tick-tocktick -tock’ anymore. Now it just goes ‘tick…tick…tick.'”
The old man says, “Mmm-Hm!” and steps behind the counter, where he rummages around a bit. He emerges with a huge flashlight and walks over the grandfather clock.
He turns the flashlight on, and shines it directly into the clocks face. Then he says in a menacing voice, “Ve haf vays of making you tock!”😐
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???
‘Watch carefully, and I will show you how to kill a god.’
ANSWER: Princess Mononoke! Lady Eboshi says this before shooting the Forest Spirit.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
‘Anne, I’m happy, just you and me…’
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Below are incomplete words. Place three (3) letters in each bracket so
that you can complete the word on the left and begin the word on the right. Good luck.
acc (_ _ _) r
urg (_ _ _) ity
fas (_ _ _) acity
dunga (_ _ _) ling
fe (_ _ _) satile
gos (_ _ _) ping
ANSWER: accuse – user urgent – entity fasten – tenacity dungaree – reeling
fever – versatile gossip – sipping
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
What is represented below?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/