Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Monday, October 9, 2017.             
 Why ask why…………….. 
Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?
If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty liter?
When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
“Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted.”
When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
What’s another word for thesaurus?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
If you’re cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
What’s another word for thesaurus?
Why do steam irons have a permanent press setting?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“Germany has just rolled out a new law banning hate speech. The law is tricky to
implement because everything sounds like hate speech when it’s spoken in German.” -Conan O’Brien
“Scientists have invented a way for you to change channels on your TV with gestures.
Yeah, it’s great for people who like watching sports completely still. ‘Wow! What a catch – nobody move! Oh, now we’re watching Lifetime.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“A new study has determined that people in relationships can detect infidelity in their
partner’s voice. Especially when their voice says, ‘You’re home early!'” -Seth Meyers
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating,
the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, ‘Last week we went out to a new
restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it.’
The other man said, ‘What is the name of the restaurant?’
The first man thought and thought and finally said, ‘What is the name of that
flower you give to someone you love? You know…. The one that’s red and has thorns.’
‘Do you mean a rose?’
‘That’s the one,’ replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled,
‘Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?’😌
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
‘If you run, we’ll be there in an hour.’ ‘Run? I haven’t even stretched!’
ANSWER: Terminal Velocity! This movie actually isn’t about running at all.


Mondays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??   

 ‘But I’ve got the solution… hot ice!’
Friday’s Quizzler is……….  
Below are two clues for words that are homophones of each other. For example,
“Number after one…Also” would result in “Two…Too”. Can you get all of the words?
1. Tiny Spider…Not sure if I will or not
2. Made the gun more accurate…Quoted
3. Container…Light
4. Head organ…Yes
ANSWER: 1. Mite…Might  2. Sighted…Cited   3. Pail…Pale   4. Eye…Aye
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Each pair of definitions is for two words, where the second word is the first word with an extra letter added somewhere (example: band & brand). The length of the short word in each pair is provided.
1) a female relative & to challenge in a mocking manner (4 letters)
2) the point where two edges meet & a person who investigates the causes of deaths (6 letters)
3) a person of low social or cultural status & a long-tailed game bird (7 letters)
4) nimble or agile & a jet of fine vapor, as from an atomizer (4 letters)
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at

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