Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Tuesday, October 10, 2017.               
ACTUAL EXCERPTS FROM STUDENT SCIENCE EXAMS:
Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the organ of the species.
Benjamin Franklin produced electricity by rubbing cats backwards.
The theory of evolution was greatly objected to because it made man think.
Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillers.
The process of turning steam back into water again is called conversation.
The Earth makes one resolution every 24 hours.
To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.
Algebraical symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about.
The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.
A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene triangle.
When you haven’t got enough iodine in your blood you get a glacier.
For fractures: to see if the limb is broken, wiggle it gently back and forth.
To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.
For asphyxiation: apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.
When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES… 
“Google just released a pair of headphones that can translate 40 languages instantly.
They say it’s a great way to travel to a new country and find out everyone’s making fun of you.” -Jimmy Fallon
“According to a new report, Nigeria owes New York City over $500,000 in unpaid parking tickets for its foreign diplomats. Nigeria apologized and said they’ll pay the fines right away if they we send them our bank account number, our PIN, and our mother’s maiden name.” -Seth Meyers
“A New York fitness expert has released an exercise book for nuns called, ‘Changing Habits: The Sister’s Workout.’ The Vatican rejected the original title, ‘Nuns of Steel.'” –Conan O’Brien
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
Pat: Hey, Chris! How’s your new pet fish doing? You told me he was really something special.
Chris: To tell you the truth, I’m really disappointed in him. The guy who sold him to me said I could teach him to sing like a bird.
Pat: You bought a fish because you thought you could teach him to sing like a bird? I can’t believe it!
Chris: Well, yeah. After all, he’s a parrot fish.
Pat: I hate to tell you this, Chris, but while you might be able to teach a parrot bird to sing, you’re never going to get anywhere with a parrot fish.
Chris: That’s what you think! He can sing all right. The thing is, he keeps singing off-key. It’s driving me crazy. Do you know how hard it is to tuna fish?😐
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
 ‘But I’ve got the solution… hot ice!’
ANSWER: Rookie of the Year! That pitching coach is a moron. 

 

Tuesdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??   

 ‘Yes, we play football…I believe you people call it soccer.’
 
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….  
Each pair of definitions is for two words, where the second word is the first word with an extra letter added somewhere (example: band & brand). The length of the short word in each pair is provided.
1) a female relative & to challenge in a mocking manner (4 letters)
2) the point where two edges meet & a person who investigates the causes of deaths (6 letters)
3) a person of low social or cultural status & a long-tailed game bird (7 letters)
4) nimble or agile & a jet of fine vapor, as from an atomizer (4 letters)
ANSWER: 1) aunt & taunt   2) corner & coroner   3) peasant & pheasant   4) spry & spray

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
The following clues give definitions for world capitals. These definitions describe what the capitals (just the city) sound like they would mean.
1) This capital is a recently opened store for cooked meats.
2) This capital is plant-covered bovine.
3) This capital is a tool used for fighting.
4) This capital is a royal weight.
5) This capital is a cheer for a body of water.
6) This capital is the legendary vehicle graveyard.
7) This capital is something that annoys a religious figure.
8) This capital is a basic digit.
9) This capital is something you get from the sun.
10) This capital is a score for a ringer.
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS!  🙇🙅🙇🙅🙇🙌
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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