Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

232440-Its-Only-Wednesday
WELCOME to Wednesday, October 11, 2017.                
Rita Rudner’s Facts About Men………….
Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first few weeks
he has it, lock the door when you go to the bathroom. Most of my husband’s early films end with a scream and a flush.
Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of “rich” usually cancels out the nice of “bald”.
Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.
If it’s attention you want, don’t get involved with a man during play-off season.
Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.
All men look nerdy in black socks and sandals.
The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
Don’t try to teach men how to do anything in public. They can learn in private; in public they have to know.
Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. I sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.
A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
Men love watches with multiple functions. My husband has one that is a combination address book, telescope and piano.
All men hate to hear “We need to talk about our relationship.” These seven words strike fear in the heart of even General Schwarzkopf.
Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES… 
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become
happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. – Socrates
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. – Groucho Marx
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and
then she stops to breathe. – Jimmy Durante
I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. – Zsa Zsa Gabor
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four
essential foodgroups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. – Alex Levine
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. – Rodney Dangerfield
Money can’t buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. – Spike Milligan
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow’s ear. The farmer didn’t think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his bucket. It went in one ear and out the udder.😌
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
  ‘Yes, we play football…I believe you people call it soccer.’
ANSWER: Coming to America! The main character, Akeem, quotes this during a
basketball game when asked what sports they play in Africa. 

 

Wednesdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??   

 ‘Happy New Year…in this country we say HAPPY New Year.’
 
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
The following clues give definitions for world capitals. These definitions describe what the capitals (just the city) sound like they would mean.
1) This capital is a recently opened store for cooked meats.
2) This capital is plant-covered bovine.
3) This capital is a tool used for fighting.
4) This capital is a royal weight.
5) This capital is a cheer for a body of water.
6) This capital is the legendary vehicle graveyard.
7) This capital is something that annoys a religious figure.
8) This capital is a basic digit.
9) This capital is something you get from the sun.
10) This capital is a score for a ringer.
ANSWER: 1) New Delhi (New Deli), India  2) Moscow (Moss Cow), Russia  3) Warsaw (War Saw), Poland  4) Kingston (King’s Ton), Jamaica

5) Beirut (Bay Root), Lebanon  6) Khartoum (Car Tomb), Sudan  7) Budapest (Buddha Pest), Hungary  8) Quito (Key Toe), Ecuador
9) Bern (Burn), Switzerland  10) Belgrade (Bell Grade), Serbia and Montenegro

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
What is strange about the words in the group below, apart from the fact that they are all four letters long?
NEAR
LAME
ARMS
CAME
DEAL
GAIN
WINE
SCAR
HIND
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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