Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Monday, October 16, 2017.                  
Retirement Humor……..
OLD FOOTBALL PLAYERS never die, they just go to the end zone
OLD FOOTBALLERS never die, they just kick the bucket
OLD FORESTERS never die, they just pine away
OLD FRIDGE REPAIRMEN never die, they just blow their cool
OLD FROGS never die, they just croak
OLD FRUIT never die, it just pear-ishes
OLD GARAGEMEN never die, they just retire😎
OLD GEOLOGISTS never die, they just recrystalize
OLD GHOST TOWNS never die, they become desolate
OLD GOLFERS never die, they just lose their drive
OLD GRAPHIC ARTISTS never die, they just de-rez
OLD GYMNASTS never die, they just take longer to mount
OLD HAMS never die, they just get grounded
OLD HARDWARE ENGINEERS never die, they just cache in their chips
OLD HELSINKI TOURISTS never die, they just vanish into Finn Air
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES… 
“Researchers have published a letter from a Harvard student in 1743 asking his parents
for money. On the bright side, just this year his student loans were finally paid off.” -Conan O’Brien
“Indonesia’s anti-drug chief is proposing that the country put narcotics offenders in a jail on an island surrounded by crocodiles. The plan is to send the inmates food supplies every day but they will have to survive on their own. This already sounds like a reality TV show I would totally watch.” -James Corden
“New research has found that contrary to popular belief, it could be beneficial for women to eat and drink while in labor. Though I don’t think the other people in the restaurant would be too happy about it.” -Seth Meyers
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
While I was dining out with my children, a friend of my neighbor, who recognized us, came over to our table, and we started talking. He asked where my kids go to school. I told him we homeschooled them. With a raised eyebrow, he asked if my husband is the sole breadwinner for our family. I said, “No, I also work… but out of our home.”
Then, noticing our two-month-old son, he mentioned that his daughter had just had a baby, and he wondered what hospital our son was born in. “He was born at home,” I answered. The man looked at me and said, “You don’t get out much, do you?” 😐
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
‘Dead or alive, you are coming with me.’
ANSWER: Robocop! Great action film from the 80s. 

 

Mondays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??  

‘Good, bad, I’m the one with the gun.’
 
 
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
Can you decipher this rebus?
Cluck Cluck
Quack Quack
Gobble Gobble
ANSWER: Foul (Fowl) Language

Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Can you figure out these common expressions?
1. The second letter of the alphabet + the opposite of more + a female sheep
2. The 16th letter of the alphabet + to rent
3. A stinging insect + to dig ore out of the ground
4. Former + sticks used for pool + not you
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! 🙇🙇🙇🙇🙌🙌🙌🙌
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

 

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