Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

e522597df60d20b2a80e32f543877a91WELCOME to Tuesday, October 17, 2017.                  
Retirement Humor Two……..
OLD SOCCER PLAYERS never die, they just achieve their final goal
OLD SOCCER PLAYERS never die, they just lose their kick
OLD SOLDIERS never die, they just fade away
OLD SOLDIERS never die, they just smell that way
OLD SOLDIERS never die, young ones do
OLD SOURDOUGHS never die, they just ferment away
OLD SPELUNKERS never die, they just cave in
OLD STEELMAKERS never die, they just lose their temper
OLD STUDENTS never die, they just get degraded
OLD SWIMMERS never die, they just fall off their blocks
OLD SWIMMERS never die, they just have a stroke
OLD SWIMMERS never die, they just kick-off
OLD SYSTEM USERS never die, they just chdir to NULL
OLD TANNERS never die, they just go into hiding
OLD TAPE DISPENSERS never die, they just get used up
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES…
Every man desires to live long, but no man desires to be old – Jonathan Swift (paraphrased)
Old age is always fifteen years older than I am – Oliver Wendell Holmes
Men do not quit playing because they grow old — they grow old because they quit playing – Oliver Wendell Holmes
Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young – Theodore Roosevelt
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest – Larry Lorenzoni
There is still no cure for the common birthday – John Glenn
If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself – Anonymous
Age is a high price to pay for maturity – Tom Stoppard
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act – Truman Capote
You’re only as old as you feel – Anonymous
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
You know you’re getting older when…
Everything that works hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work.
You feel like the morning after, and you haven’t been anywhere.
Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D.
Your children are beginning to look middle-aged.
Your mind makes contracts your body can’t keep.
You look forward to a dull evening.
Your knees buckle and your belt won’t.
Your back goes out more than you do.
You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.
You know all the answers, but nobody asks the questions.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
‘Good, bad, I’m the one with the gun.’
ANSWER:  Army of Darkness!

 

Tuesdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??  

‘Put the candle BACK!’
 
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Can you figure out these common expressions?
1. The second letter of the alphabet + the opposite of more + a female sheep
2. The 16th letter of the alphabet + to rent
3. A stinging insect + to dig ore out of the ground
4. Former + sticks used for pool + not you
ANSWER: 1. Bless you  2. Please   3. Be Mine    4. Excuse Me

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
What is represented by this?
Jack’s Saturday
Your Tuesday 92
Bob’s Sunday
Your Thursday 24
Jill’s Wednesday
Your Friday 70
Alison’s Monday
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO OUR RESIDENT GENIUS, MS. ANDREA L. BANKS AND MS. KIM HILLYARD! 🙇🙇🙇🙇🙌🙌🙌🙌
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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