Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

congratulations
WELCOME to Tuesday, October 24, 2017.                
Woman’s translations..
The wife says: You want
The wife means: You want
The wife says: We need
The wife means: I want
The wife says: It’s your decision
The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious
The wife says: Do what you want
The wife means: You’ll pay for this later
The wife says: We need to talk
The wife means: I need to complain
The wife says: Sure… go ahead
The wife means: I don’t want you to
The wife says: I’n not upset
The wife means: Of course I’m upset you moron
The wife says: You’re … so manly
The wife means: You need a shave and sweat a lot
The wife says: Be romantic, turn out the lights
The wife means: I have flabby thighs.
The wife says: This kitchen is so inconvenient
The wife means: I want a new house.
The wife says: I want new curtains.
The wife means: Also carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper!
The wife says: I need wedding shoes.
The wife means: The other forty pairs are the wrong shade of white.
The wife says: Hang the picture there
The wife means: No, I mean hang it there!
The wife says: I heard a noise
The wife means: I noticed you were almost asleep.
The wife says: Do you love me?
The wife means: I’m going to ask for something expensive.
The wife says: How much do you love me?
The wife means: I did something today you’re not going to like.
The wife says: I’ll be ready in a minute.
The wife means: Kick off your shoes and take an hour nap.
The wife says: Am I fat?
The wife means: Tell me I’m beautiful.
The wife says: You have to learn to communicate.
The wife means: Just agree with me.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES…
Take my advice — I’m not using it.
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, ‘You stay here, I’ll go on a head.’
I make progress by having people around me who are smarter than I am and
listening to them. And I assume that everyone is smarter about something than I am. —-Henry J. Kaiser
The glass is neither half full nor half empty. The size of the glass could be more appropriate.
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become president. I’m beginning to believe it.
When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?’ –Don Marquis
In democracy, it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism, it’s your count that votes.
He who can, does – He who cannot, teaches. George Bernard Shaw
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order.
There was a big sign posted. “No bills larger than $20 will be accepted.”
The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, “Believe me,
if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldn’t be eating here.”😎
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
 ‘This town needs an enema!’
ANSWER: Batman! The BEST comic book film ever made. 

 

Tuesdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??  

‘You have no power over me.’

 
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Can you decipher this common phrase?
eyeeseeexcept
ANSWER: I before E except after C 

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
What word when you remove the first letter and put it at the end, do you get the past tense of the word?
 
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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