Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Wednesday, November 1, 2017.                 
More Punography…
Is it legal to travel down a road in reverse, as long as your following the direction of the traffic?
Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?
When Atheists go to court, do they have to swear on the bible?
Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?
Can animals commit suicide?
Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?
Why do people think that swaying their arm back and forth would change the direction of a bowling ball?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
If glassblowers inhale do they get a pane in the stomach?
Is it rude for a deaf person to talk (sign) with their mouth full of food?
If a doctor suddenly had a heart attack while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient?
How can something be “new” and “improved”? if it’s new, what was it improving on?
Why do they sterilize lethal injections?
Why aren’t drapes double sided so it looks nice on the inside and outside of your home?
Is a pessimist’s blood type B-negative?
Why is it that when we “skate on thin ice”, we can “get in hot water”?
If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
Why are the little styrofoam pieces called peanuts?
If pro and con are opposites, wouldn’t the opposite of progress be congress?
Why does grape flavor smell the way it is when actual grapes don’t taste or smell anything like it.?
Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don’t lay eggs.
Do Siamese twins pay for one ticket or two tickets when they go to movies and concerts?
Why are they called ‘Jolly Ranchers’? Who said that the ranchers were jolly?
Why does caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing?
Can a short person “talk down” to a taller person?
If a bald person works as a chef at a restaurant, do they have to wear a hairnet?
If milk goes bad if not refrigerated, why does it not go bad inside the cow?
What’s the difference between normal ketchup and fancy ketchup?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES… 

Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the face. – Helen Keller
To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself. – Thich Nhat Hanh
Our self-respect tracks our choices. Every time we act in harmony with our authentic self and our heart, we earn our respect. It is that simple. Every choice matters. – Dan Coppersmith
The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion’s, gentleness, and a deep loving concern.
Beautiful people do not just happen. – Elizabeth Kubler-
Why should we worry about what others think of us, do we have more confidence
in their opinions than we do our own? – Brigham Young
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters
compared to what lies within us. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
I think everybody’s weird. We should all celebrate our
individuality and not be embarrassed or ashamed of it. – Johnny Depp
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
Once there was this bus which happened to be from Sesamee Street. On the bus were some very strange people with very strange things to do. First there were two identical twins whose names were both Pattie. They were very big and muscular, especially for women. Next there was a man named Ross. He was a extrodinary guy so he was dubbed “Special Ross”. After that there was a hefty, overweight man named Leonard. Since his cheeks were so puffy people decided to nickname him “Leonard Cheeks”. Finally, all the people on the bus had bunions at which they feverously picked and scratched.
What do we call this bus filled with strange people? Of course; we call them: “Two all-beef Patties, Special Ross, Leonard Cheeks, pickin’ bunions, on a Sesamee Street bus!”
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
  ‘You know the difference between me and you? I make this look good!’
ANSWER: Men in Black!  Will Smith not only starred in this movie, but he also sang the theme song for it.

 

Wednesdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??  

‘What’s your favorite scary movie?’

 
 
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
In a sylasearch I give you a syllable-starter, which is the first syllable in the words you are to find. I will also give you a listing of the other syllables that you must use to figure out the 8 words.
Syllable List – al, cute, fec, form, fume, i, ma, mis, mit, nent, se, sion, son, tion, ty
Syllable-starter: per
How many syllables each word has:
1. (2)
2. (2)
3. (2)
4. (3)
5. (3)
6. (3)
7. (3)
8. (5)
ANSWER: Perfume (per fume)  Permit (per mit)  Perform (per form)  Permission (per mis sion)  Permanent (per ma nent)

Persecute (per se cute)  Perfection (per fec tion)  Personality (per son al i ty)

  

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Evil Tribbles may look cute, but they can really make a loud noise when they ROAR!!!
A 1-foot tall Green Evil Tribble can register 10 GSU (Galactic Sound Units) on a sound-measuring device that is 5 feet away. Yellow Evil Tribbles are twice as loud, and Red Tribbles… THREE times as loud as their yellow counterparts!
So anyway, one day Spork the Vulcan was out doing a bit of maintenance on the exterior of the Space Station, and before him he saw, to his fright, the biggest Evil Tribble he had ever seen. It was 5 feet high, 10 feet away and red! It looked straight at Spork, and gave the loudest ROAR it could!!!
How many GSU did Spork’s sound-measuring device register?

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO OUR RESIDENT GENIUS MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙇🙇🙇🙅😁😎🙏

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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