WELCOME to MONDAY JULY 7th, 2025

Here’s The Story….
Conjoined twins walk into a pub in Toronto and park themselves on a bar stool. One of them
says to the bartender, “Don’t mind us, we’re joined at the hip. I’m John, he’s Jim.
Two Molson Canadian beers please.” The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make
polite conversation while pouring the beers. “Been on holiday, lads?”
“Off to England next month,” says John. “We go to England every year, hire a car,
and drive for miles, don’t we, Jim?” Jim agrees. 
“Ah, England!” says the bartender. “Wonderful Country…the history, the beer, the culture…”
“Nah, we don’t like that British crap,” says John. “Hamburgers and Molson’s beer, that’s us, eh,
Jim? And we can’t stand the English; they’re so arrogant and rude, not civil and polite like us Canadians.”
“So why keep going to England?” asks the bartender.
“It’s the only chance Jim gets to drive.” 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a SUPER MONDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

 
“A company will make a life-size 3D printed model of yourself that you can send
to your mom for $30,000. It’s a great way of telling your mom I’d rather
spend $30,000 than visit you in person.” -Jimmy Fallon

“A new study suggests that a chemical released when a person is hungry can lead to
poor decision-making. It’s what Taco Bell calls ‘our entire business model.'” -Seth Meyers

“Netflix is testing a new feature that will allow you to hide what you’ve been watching.
You just click the button and it says, I want to stay married.” -Conan O’Brien
 

 
VISIT MY LECTRONIC STORE FOR GREAT SALES: https://xgcspc-vw.myshopify.com/
 

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
My sister, went to the store to check out the bridal registry of our niece whose
wedding was coming up soon. When my sister returned from the store, she
tossed the gift list on a table and declared, “I think she’s too young to get married.”
“Why do you say that?” I asked.
“Because,” she said, “they’ve registered for video games.” 😲😲

Friday*’s’ Movie Trivia of the day!  
Directed and written by Nancy Meyers, which 2006 trans-Atlantic house-swap
romantic comedy starred Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet, and Eli Wallach?
 
Answer: The Holiday!
“The Holiday” is a romantic comedy about two women from opposite sides of the Atlantic, both unlucky in their personal lives, who swap houses and find romance. Amanda Woods (Diaz), a successful maker of movie trailers from Los Angeles is dumped by her boyfriend. Iris Simpkins (Winslet), a downtrodden society columnist at London’s “Daily Telegraph” who lives in Surrey, is unable to move on from her obsession with star journalist Jasper Bloom (Rufus Sewell), who takes advantage of her and whose neediness keeps her thinking the relationship might develop, even as his engagement to another woman is announced. Iris places her idyllic Surrey cottage on a house swap website, and Amanda impulsively decides to try it for two weeks over the Christmas period. The two women soon hook up with new men – Amanda with Iris’s brother, played by Jude Law, and Iris with Amanda’s ex-boyfriend’s colleague played by Jack Black. Additionally, Iris meets a reclusive veteran Hollywood writer, played by Eli Wallach, and the two help each other come out of themselves.
 
 
Monday Movie Trivia of the day!  
The 1980 psychological horror film was directed by Stanley Kubrick and starred Jack Nicholson and Shelley Duval – it is based on Stephen King’s 1977 novel of the same name and features Jack Torrance, a writer suffering from writer’s block who becomes the winter caretaker at a remote hotel where a previous caretaker had murdered his wife.

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
Clyde Stevenson just bought a brand new house. Everything in it was state of the art; the refrigerator was stainless steel, the ovens were electric, even the windows were built to only open from the inside. Clyde was a very nervous man, and always kept his house locked up, especially this one, since it was new.

Clyde decided, since he bought a nice new house, he might as well break it in and plan a barbeque. He went to the store and bought some steaks, wine (it was his first party), and other things that he saw fit. He set the table, had the steaks marinating, and then began calling his friends to come over. He invited Stan, Eric, Helen and Pete.

They all came over and Clyde started the steaks. He finished grilling the steaks, and then broke open the wine and they started to eat. They talked about sports, the news, and gossiped about people in town. After a while, Stan started to get a little tipsy and was getting a little rude. Clyde asked him to settle down, in a civil manner, but Stan got furious and tried to fight. After quite a brawl, they got a taxi for Stan and everyone left.

The next day at 10:00 A.M., the police got a call that Clyde had been murdered. When the police arrived on the scene, they found Stan and Helen. The police officer decided to question them both at the station, to get the story straight.

When the officer questioned Stan, he said, “I was talking to Helen on the phone when I told her I should go over to Clyde’s to apologise. (Stan told the officer what happened last night) She said that she should come with me in case things got heated again, and I said that was fine. I got there about ten minutes after Helen did, and I noticed that the front door was locked. I decided to look through a window to see if they were there, when I saw Helen, blood soaked, tossing a knife into the sink. I quickly opened the window and crawled through, and called the police. Helen killed Clyde.”

When the officer questioned Helen she said, “Stan called me and told me to meet him at Clyde’s so he could apologise about last night. (She also told the story about what happened) I get there about ten minutes faster than Stan, so I decided to wait in the car for him. After a while, I got bored so I decided to go in and tell Clyde what was going to happen. I noticed the door was wide open, and I thought that was strange because Clyde is a very nervous man. So, I rang the doorbell, walked in, and locked the door, because I know that Clyde always wants the door locked. I saw Clyde lying on the floor with stab wounds. I grabbed him to see if he was alive, but he was dead. I went into the kitchen to call the police when I saw Stan in the other room saying that I killed him, and that he had called the police.”

The officer put them in different jail cells and decided to look over the crime scene. He searched the entire area and discovered who murdered Clyde. Who was it and why?

ANSWER: Stan murdered Clyde. In the beginning it states that the windows were new, and were designed to only open from the inside. If Stan had tried to open the window, he would have found it wouldn’t work, and he would not have been able to get through that way.
 

Monday’s Quizzler is….​😎😎
What does this represent?

Ag Ag Ag Ag Ag
Ag CIRRUS Ag
Ag Ag Ag Ag Ag

Ag Ag Ag Ag Ag
Ag CUMULUS Ag
Ag Ag Ag Ag Ag

Ag Ag Ag Ag Ag
Ag STRATUS Ag
Ag Ag Ag Ag Ag

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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