WELCOME to WEDNESDAY MAY 13th, 2026
Here’s The Story……….
Because of the reaction people have when they wake up and realize it’s a workday
again and the weekend is over, the first day of the week is called Moanday.
Many people too busy to cook on the second day of the week just open a can of beans.
Hence the day is known as Tootsday.
By the third day of the week, people are wondering when they can ever find the time
to get everything done this week that they need to, hence the day is known as Whensday.
Too bleary to even count properly, people think it’s only Day Three of the week on the next day,
therefore it’s erroneously called Thirdsday.
On the last day of the workweek, people often go out “for a few” after work. By the time they
get home, they’re too tired to cook anything elaborate, so they just throw a piece of meat,
chicken, or fish in the skillet. That’s why the day is known as Fryday.
Saturday night all the singles let loose. There’s a lot of sexual hijinks. It’s pretty obvious
why the day is called Satyrday.
And on the last day of the week–and the weekend–people look at all the items on their
to-do lists that didn’t get crossed off, groan aloud, and make themselves promises
they won’t keep. Therefore the day is called Soonday.
That’s my story and Im stickking to it! Have a WONDERFUL THURSDAY ‘people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
QUOTES OF THE DAY…
“The American Academy of Pediatrics has suggested that people under the
age of 18 should be banned from tanning salons. Parents that take their kids
to tanning salons should be banned from parenting.” -Jimmy Fallon
“There is a new bike lock that prevents theft by releasing a gas that makes a
robber throw up if they cut the lock. So, the good news is: Your bike wasn’t
stolen. The bad news: It’s covered in vomit.” -Conan O’Brien
“A school in California is testing a new program that forgoes traditional teachers
and has students teach and grade each other’s classwork. So good luck to the
students at ‘Straight A’s Academy!'” -Seth Meyers
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!
A Navy pilot with psychological issues is invited back to his old squadron just before a
major operation to bomb a target in the Middle East.
Answer: Hot Shots! In this spoof of “Top Gun”, Charlie Sheen stars as pilot Topper Harley, who has issues with his pilot father’s legacy. He rejoins his squadron in time for an important mission, but a naval officer and a defense contractor are plotting to sabotage the raid in order to sell new planes to the Navy.
Thursdays Movie Trivia of the day!
A mentally challenged British man is hanged for his participation in a crime in which a police
officer is killed, even though he didn’t pull the trigger.
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
Many many years ago when I was twenty three,
I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be.
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her, and soon the two were wed.
This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother, for she was my father’s wife.
To complicate the matters worse, although it brought me joy,
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy.
My little baby then became a brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad.
For if he was my uncle, then that also made him brother
To the widow’s grown-up daughter who, of course, was my step-mother.
Father’s wife then had a son, who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson, for he was my daughter’s son.
Who is my grandma?
ANSWER: If my wife is my grandmother,
Then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it,
It simply drives me wild.
For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother,
I am my own grandpa!
Thursday’s Quizzler is….😎😎
Joe, Bill, Bob, Jack, and Tom, whose last names are Carter, Dawson, Mingus, Wood, and Cole, all live in the same building. Each man owns a cat and a dog. The names of the dogs are Dusty, Midnight, Ginger, Smokey, and Daisy. By chance, cats also have the same 5 names as the dogs. From the clues given, determine each man’s first and last name and the names of his pets. (Hint: no man gave the same name to both his cat and his dog.)
- Joe and Jack each have a pet named Ginger.
- Jack, Joe, and Mr. Carter do not have pets named Midnight.
- Bob’s dog and Jack’s cat have the same name, as do Bill’s cat and Tom’s dog.
- The cat Daisy is not owned by Jack Cole, Mr. Mingus, Mr. Carter, or Bill.
- Smokey the cat does not live with Ginger the dog, and neither of them live with Tom or Mr. Dawson.
- Joe’s dog is named Daisy.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com: https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. 😳😳
The World According to the Eucman! 