WELCOME to FRIDAY MAY 15th, 2026
Here’s The Story……….
As you know, Neanderthal man may have interbred with modern man.
His descendants are with us even today, passing for full-blooded Homo sapiens.
If you suspect a “touch of the old hand ax” in your ancestry, score yourself on this test:
- Do your eyebrows meet in the middle? If so, give yourself five points.
- Can you lock your knees in an upright position? If not, take five points.
- Got a chin? If the answer is no, add three points.
- How about a forehead? If not, add another three points.
- Is it easy for you to balance a book on your head? Then give yourself five points.
- Do you ever open Coke bottles with your teeth? If you do, add ten points.
- Are you frequently more comfortable squatting on your heels than sitting in a chair? Take five points.
- Is your head attached vertically to your neck? If not, add one point for every five degrees of slope.
- Less than five feet tall? Add one point for every inch under.
- If your lower arm is shorter than your upper arm, add one point for every inch of difference.
- Ditto for your lower and upper legs.
- Pigeon-toed? Five points.
- Have you ever felt like bashing a postal clerk with a club? You’re normal–no points.
- Is the space between your big toe and your other toes big enough to hold an apple? Add five points.
- Do you regularly eat apples in this way? Add fifteen points.
- Do people think you’re wearing your hair in a bun when you’re not? Give yourself ten points.
- Can you count your vertebrae while wearing two sweaters and an overcoat? Take five more points.
- Is your nickname “Duke”, “Butch”, or “Animal”? Three points.
Scroll down for your score…
Scoring:
0-20 points:
You are a virtually pure Homo sapiens. Feel free to build bridges,
compose symphonies and overrun the world.
20-40 points:
A slight Neanderthal strain means that you will occasionally have spells of primitive behavior,
crawling around on all fours and whooping wildly. If you live in California, no one will notice.
40-60 points:
You can still function quite well in the modern world, but avoid eating in fancy
restaurants lest your table manners give you away.
60-80 points:
Your Pleistocene heritage is predominant. You should consider a career in pro football.
80-100 points:
Unfortunately, your genetic makeup is Grunt City; there is no place for you in
human society. Try running for public office instead.
That’s my story and Im stickking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEEKEND ‘people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
QUOTES OF THE DAY…
“Experts are warning holiday shoppers to check the spelling of websites because there
are lookalike sites that try to scam you with a slight misspelling of a store’s name. Yep,
they said if you want more info on this, just look it up on Goggle.” -Jimmy Fallon
“Washington, D.C., 7-Eleven stores have begun selling Dorito-coated cheese sticks. Because
when 7-Eleven drops food on the floor, they don’t give up.” -Seth Meyers
“Today, the stock market hit an all-time high. Which is great news, because if there’s
one thing we’ve learned over the past decade it’s that if Wall Street executives are
doing well, regular Americans are doing well. ” -James Corden
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!
A mentally challenged British man is hanged for his participation in a crime in which a police
officer is killed, even though he didn’t pull the trigger.
Answer: Let Him Have It! In November 1952, 19-year old Derek Bentley, epileptic and mentally challenged, joins in a burglary with 16 year old Christopher Craig. Bentley is quickly arrested, and shouts “Let him have it” to Craig, who then shoots and kills an officer. Both are convicted, and Bentley, as an adult, is sentenced to death. Did he mean for Craig to shoot, or give up his gun to the police?
Fridays Movie Trivia of the day!
A recently deceased man finds himself in an afterlife where he must defend his life decisions in a trial.
Thursday’s Quizzler is….
Joe, Bill, Bob, Jack, and Tom, whose last names are Carter, Dawson, Mingus, Wood, and Cole, all live in the same building. Each man owns a cat and a dog. The names of the dogs are Dusty, Midnight, Ginger, Smokey, and Daisy. By chance, cats also have the same 5 names as the dogs. From the clues given, determine each man’s first and last name and the names of his pets. (Hint: no man gave the same name to both his cat and his dog.)
- Joe and Jack each have a pet named Ginger.
- Jack, Joe, and Mr. Carter do not have pets named Midnight.
- Bob’s dog and Jack’s cat have the same name, as do Bill’s cat and Tom’s dog.
- The cat Daisy is not owned by Jack Cole, Mr. Mingus, Mr. Carter, or Bill.
- Smokey the cat does not live with Ginger the dog, and neither of them live with Tom or Mr. Dawson.
- Joe’s dog is named Daisy.
ANSWER: Joe Mingus: Daisy dog and Ginger cat
Bill Dawson: Smokey dog and Midnight cat
Bob Carter: Dusty dog and Smokey cat
Jack Cole: Ginger dog and Dusty cat
Tom Wood: Midnight dog and Daisy cat
Friday’s Quizzler is….😎😎
Five couples were surprised to find out that not only did they all have hyphenated last names, they had all gotten married in the same year! Determine from the clues below the first and last names of each couple and in what month they were married.
Note: There were no same-sex couples in the group; each of the men married a woman and vice versa.
Women: Beatrice, Emily, Lucy, Teresa, Wendy
Women’s Last Names: Baker, Ingalls, Landon, Morse, West
Men: Gary, Isaac, Jonathan, Michael, Samuel
Men’s Last Names: Emerson, Gasero, Jimenez, Smith, Thompson
Months: February, April, June, August, October
- No one had a last name that started with the same letter of their first name before they were married. No one married someone whose last name started with the same letter as their first name.
- Emily convinced her husband that Smith-Landon sounded too much like Smith and Wesson, so they hyphenated their names the other way around.
- The five couples are represented by: Wendy, the couple who was married in October, Gary, the Jimenez-Wests, and the couple with Thompson in their name.
- Lucy Ingalls, as she was known before she was married, was thrilled to be able to have the June wedding she had always wanted. Samuel’s bride was perfectly happy having an April wedding.
- Teresa, whose last name included either Morse or West, escaped the winter wonderland of her wedding day by honeymooning in Hawaii. Michael, on the other hand, left the dog days of summer behind when he honeymooned with Beatrice in Alberta.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com: https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. 😳😳
The World According to the Eucman! 