WELCOME to MONDAY AUGUST 10th, 2026

Here’s The Story…..
A preacher was told by his doctor that he had only a few weeks left to live.
He went home feeling very sad, and when his wife heard the sad news she said to him,
“Honey, if there’s anything I can do to make you happy, tell me.”
The preacher answered, “You know, dear, there’s that box in the kitchen cabinet with what
you always called ‘your little secret’ in it and you said you never would want me to open it
as long as you lived. Now that I’m about to go home to be with the Lord,
why don’t you show me what’s in that secret box of yours?”
The preacher’s wife got out the box and opened the lid. It contained $100,000 and three eggs.
“What are those eggs doing in the box?” the preacher asked.
“Well, Honey,” she replied, “every time your sermon was really bad I put an egg in the box.”
Now the preacher had been preaching for over forty years, and seeing only three eggs in that
old shoe box, he started to feel very proud about himself and it warmed his soul.
“And what about that $100,000?” he asked.
“Oh, you see,” she whispered softly, “every time there were a
dozen eggs in the box, I… sold them.” 😂😂
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY ‘people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

 
Classic Jokes That Never Fail
One Saturday afternoon the grasshopper, the snail, and the centipede were sitting around the grasshopper’s house drinking beer.
They ran out of beer before they were ready to quit drinking, so they decided one of them should go out for more beer.
The snail said, “I’d go, but I’m kind of slow. Besides, Grasshopper, this is your neighborhood so you know where to go.”
The grasshopper said, “I don’t mind going, but my hopping will shake up the beer and we’ll get sprayed every time we open one.”
So they decided to send the centipede; and the grasshopper explained how to get to the nearest liquor store.
An hour or so passed and still the centipede hadn’t returned, so the snail and the grasshopper decided to go look for him.
They got as far as the front door and found the centipede sitting there putting on his shoes. 😯  

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!    
What is the ultimate fate of the leader of the ‘Illinois Nazis’ and his Gruppenfuehrer?
  
Answer:  Their car drives off the end of a partially built motorway.
As the Blues Brothers speed towards Chicago to pay the tax bill in time to save the orphanage, they are pursued by hundreds of police and other vehicles, a troupe of mounted police and a police launch. Among them is the car containing the Fuehrer and his Gruppenfuehrer, who want revenge for the way the brothers had humiliated them, by forcing them to jump from a bridge into the water. The crowd who had been jeering the Nazi speaker had rocked with laughter as he and his drenched, uniformed men climbed out of the pond. A shot from the Nazi’s gun makes ‘The Bluesmobile’ throw a rod, and its windscreen becomes covered in oil. Elwood unknowingly drives on to a motorway which is under construction, followed by his pursuers. ‘The Bluesmobile’ nearly runs over the end of the road, then in some amazing special effects, back somersaults over the Nazi vehicle which continues on into the void. As the vehicle falls, in slow motion, to the road hundreds of feet below, the Gruppenfuehrer looks at his leader and earnestly tells him that he has always loved him.  

Mondays July Movie Trivia of the day!  
Manslaughter, music, and making it big pretty much sums up the plot of this film, starring a famous singer. Which film?

Friday’s  Quizzler is….
The following sentences have two blanks that can be filled with two words that are anagrams of each other. Please find those words.

1. The burglar had __________ the entire apartment, and it seemed locating even one clue of his identity would be impossible. However, the skilled detective needed but a few __________ of the burglar’s torn jeans to start the process of finding the perpetrator.
2. The construction boss sent Jim to the store for more __________. After an hour of Jim being gone, the boss remarked, “It’s a good thing Jim is a hard worker because that boy is as slow as a __________.
3. What started out as a peaceful march turned into complete __________ and the National Guard was called in. The melee was __________ on two outside groups not even affiliated with the march.

  
Answer: 1. trashed, threads
2. nails, snail
3. bedlam, blamed

MONDAY’s Quizzler….
This is a newspaper headline:

Workers Strike – Want to Make Less Money!

What is going on?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com: https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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