WELCOME to WEDNESDAY AUGUST 19th, 2026
Here’s The Story…..
As you know, Neanderthal man may have interbred with modern man.
His descendants are with us even today, passing for full-blooded Homo sapiens.
If you suspect a “touch of the old hand ax” in your ancestry, score yourself on this test:
- Do your eyebrows meet in the middle? If so, give yourself five points.
- Can you lock your knees in an upright position? If not, take five points.
- Got a chin? If the answer is no, add three points.
- How about a forehead? If not, add another three points.
- Is it easy for you to balance a book on your head? Then give yourself five points.
- Do you ever open Coke bottles with your teeth? If you do, add ten points.
- Are you frequently more comfortable squatting on your heels than sitting in a chair? Take five points.
- Is your head attached vertically to your neck? If not, add one point for every five degrees of slope.
- Less than five feet tall? Add one point for every inch under.
- If your lower arm is shorter than your upper arm, add one point for every inch of difference.
- Ditto for your lower and upper legs.
- Pigeon-toed? Five points.
- Have you ever felt like bashing a postal clerk with a club? You’re normal–no points.
- Is the space between your big toe and your other toes big enough to hold an apple? Add five points.
- Do you regularly eat apples in this way? Add fifteen points.
- Do people think you’re wearing your hair in a bun when you’re not? Give yourself ten points.
- Can you count your vertebrae while wearing two sweaters and an overcoat? Take five more points.
- Is your nickname “Duke”, “Butch”, or “Animal”? Three points.
Scroll down for your score…
Scoring:
0-20 points:
You are a virtually pure Homo sapiens. Feel free to build bridges,
compose symphonies, and overrun the world.
20-40 points:
A slight Neanderthal strain means that you will occasionally have spells of primitive behavior,
crawling around on all fours and whooping wildly. If you live in California, no one will notice.
40-60 points:
You can still function quite well in the modern world, but avoid eating in fancy
restaurants lest your table manners give you away.
60-80 points:
Your Pleistocene heritage is predominant. You should consider a career in pro football.
80-100 points:
Unfortunately, your genetic makeup is Grunt City; there is no place for you in
human society. Try running for public office as a republican instead.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY ‘people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Jim’s doctor tells him he has only one day to live. When Jim goes home to share
the bad news with his wife, she asks what he wants to do with the little bit of time he has left.
“All I want,” Jim tells his beloved wife, “is to spend my last few hours reliving our honeymoon.”
Which is exactly what they did.
But after hours of blissful romance, she announces that she’s tired and wants to go to sleep.
“Oh, come on,” Jim whispers in her ear, “one more time.”
“Look,” his wife snaps, “I’ve got to get up in the morning. You don’t!” 😯
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!
A band manager, looking for a different sound, discovers rock and roll in this film featuring
Bill Haley and His Comets. Considered the first major rock and roll movie made, what is its name?
Answer: Rock Around the Clock (1956)
Along with Bill Haley and His Comets, other musicians featured in the film were The Platters, Tony Martinez and His Band, Freddie Bell and His Bellboys, as well as disc jockey Alan ‘Moondog’ Freed. Band manager Steve Hollis (played by Johnny Johnston) discovers Bill Haley and his band in a small farm town, and endeavors to make them famous. His efforts, however, are hindered by agent Corinne Talbot (Alix Talton) who is trying to get Hollis to marry her instead of Hollis’ current love interest, dancer Lisa Johns (Lisa Gaye).
Wednesdays July Movie Trivia of the day!
Andy Serkis plays Ian Dury from New Wave in this movie that follows his road to success
and his struggles along the way. What movie?
TUESDAY’s Quizzler….
Five friends went shopping at different times, days, and at different places. Who went
shopping at what place, and what time, and what day?
The boys are Darien and Dennis; the girls are Mina, Amy, and Serena.
clues:
- Serena doesn’t wake up until after noon, and she went somewhere to eat.
- The toy shopper went on Saturday.
- Mina went shopping on Monday
- None of the girls shopped at the bike shop.
- Dennis did not go out for food.
- Amy went at 10 AM.
- Dennis and the cafe shopper went on the weekend.
- The person who went to the cafe, went after noon.
- Friday was a busy morning at the grocery store for the girl who shopped there.
- The person went to the bakery right when it opened, which was at 9:30 AM.
- The toy shopper went shopping at noon.
- Mina went earlier in the day than Amy, and Serena went earlier than Darien.
Answer: ) Serena doesn’t wake up until after noon (Which means she did not go out anytime before noon or at noon), and she went somewhere to eat (So she didn’t go to the bike shop or the toy store.).
2) The toy shopper went on Saturday (And since we know that Serena isn’t the toy shopper, she didn’t go on Saturday.).
3) Mina went shopping on Monday (Which means she’s not the toy shopper.).
4) None of the girls shopped at the bike shop (That leaves only the boys.).
7) Dennis and the cafe shopper went on the weekend (The cafe shopper went on Sunday, which means Dennis went on Saturday. The toy shopper went on Saturday, so the person is Dennis. This leaves Darien to be the only one to go to the bike shop.).
9) Friday was a busy morning at the grocery store for the girl who shopped there(Morning.).
11) The toy shopper went shopping at noon (Here, we find out that the grocery shopper went at 10 AM, which was Amy.).
12) Mina went earlier in the day than Amy (The only possible answer is 9:30 AM), and Serena went earlier than Darien (Serena went at 1:30 and Darien went at 3 PM. The cafe person went at 1:30-Serena, and she went on Sunday. Amy went to the grocery store, which leaves Mina at the bakery.).
Serena/Cafe/Sunday/1:30 PM
Darien/Bike/Wednesday/3 PM
Amy/Grocery/Friday/10 AM
Mina/Bakery/Monday/9:30 AM
Dennis/Toys/Saturday/Noon
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
Each group of three definitions describes three words that are spelled the same,
except for one letter (each group describes a different set of words). Example: king, ring, wing.
1a) inexperienced
1b) to address with expressions of kind wishes
1c) unreasonable selfish desire
2a) highly skilled
2b) to conform
2c) to accept formally and put into effect
3a) a committee for judging and awarding prizes
3b) conceal or hide
3c) violent anger
4a) a rounded shape
4b) spoken
4c) a gemstone
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com: https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. 😳😳
The World According to the Eucman! 