WELCOME to MONDAY OCTOBER 26th, 2026
Ten Descriptive Paraprosdokian Examples….
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but they have to check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Have a great day or pretend to! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!
Have a WONDERFUL WEEKEND’ people, stay safe, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
GUARANTED TO MAKE YOU LAFF!
Nearly Paraprosdokianisms..
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back!
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.
Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
There’s a fine line between cuddling, and holding someone down so they can’t get away.
I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure. 🤔
FRIDAY’s Movie Trivia of the day!
In 1965, David Lean released to the world a film of over three hours in length about a doctor caught in the middle of Russian revolution period. What is the name of this groundbreaking cinematic masterpiece?
Answer: The correct answer was Doctor Zhivago!
The title character in this film, based on the novel by Boris Pasternak, is played by Omar Sharif. Julie Christie, Geraldine Chaplin, Rod Steiger, Alec Guinness, Klaus Kinski and Ralph Richardson also lend their unique sets of acting talents to this film that only does things on a grand scale.
MONDAYS Movie Trivia of the day!
One director has been involved in creating two epic films, one, a western released in 1968 called ‘Once Upon a Time in the West’, and the other, a crime drama called ‘Once Upon a Time in America’, which hit theaters in 1984. Who created these two excellent films?
FRIDAY’s Quizzler….
I am tied up at least once a day
And forced to carry ten nails.
I work diligently without any pay
And follow your many trails.
I do not smell very well
But at least I have many eyes.
I have two tongues but never yell
And I’ll bet you know my size.
What am I?
Answer: Your shoes!
MONday’s Quizzler is….
It was Xmas time, and Xavier eXeter eXhorted his family for an eXpedition downtown to eXpend some funds for the usual holiday gift eXchange. As soon as they boarded the eXpress train, his Auntie Jen began to eXpound on her eXpectations for the trip.
“I assume you know that the full name of the holiday is Christmas?”
“Newspapers started it to save space, replacing ‘Christ’ with a cross.”
“Very good. Do you know what else ‘ex’ means?”
“Well, it can mean ‘outside’ or ‘former’.”
“EXcellent. But sometimes, it doesn’t seem related to the original word.” She smiled, and Xavier could tell she had another one of her games in mind. He returned the grin, eXcited for her to eXplain the rules.
“Now, if you lose weight in January, how might you describe your loss?”
Xavier thought for a few seconds, and then his face eXploded with delight.
“EX-mass!”
“Very good! What else?” Jen often had more than one up her sleeve. His father claimed that’s why she often wore long-sleeved blouses.
“EX-pound?”
She chuckled and made a mental note. ” I hadn’t thought of that one. How about ‘EX-size’, spelled C-I-S-E ?”
“Oohhh,” he groaned. “Okay, do you have any more?”
How many of Auntie Jen’s words can you get?
- Formerly enough
- Former building location
- Another former building location
- Formerly in good health
- Used to make a living in the movies
- Former mining area
- Formerly eaten by chickens
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com: https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.
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