WELCOME to TUESDAY JULY 7th, 2026
Funny Long Jokes for Big Laughs
A guy installs a smart fridge. Now the fridge sends messages asking why it keeps getting opened every ten minutes.
A man tries yoga to relax. Instead he discovers muscles he never knew existed.
A student studies for five minutes and decides that is enough learning for the day.
A man buys a fitness watch. It congratulates him for walking to the fridge.
A guy downloads a sleep app. Now his phone sleeps better than he does.
A person says they love running. Mostly running late.
A man joins a gym. Three months later he still has not gone but he feels stronger emotionally.
Someone asks if a tomato is a fruit. Another person says yes but do not put it in fruit salad unless you want confusion.
A kid tells his dad he wants to grow up to be a comedian. The dad says you already tell enough jokes at dinner.
A man tries to eat healthy but pizza keeps interrupting.
A person buys a planner to organize life. Now the planner is full but life is still confused.
A man says he will start jogging tomorrow. Tomorrow has been very busy for years.
Someone starts a diet and realizes the hardest part is saying goodbye to snacks.
A guy says he reads every day. Mostly menus.
A person says adulthood is just googling how to do everything.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY ‘people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
Funniest Quotes……
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet!
They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” —Homer Simpson, The Simpsons
“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief
that one’s work is terribly important.” —Bertrand Russell
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid
just enough money not to quit.” —George Carlin
“Hard work never killed anybody, but
why take a chance?” —Edgar Bergen
“If you think you are too small to make a difference, you haven’t
spent a night with a mosquito.” —African proverb
“The best way to appreciate your job is to
imagine yourself without one.” —Oscar Wilde
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!
Scanning this sentence, can you find the Best Picture Oscar winner?
“Please write the memo on lighter colored paper than that gray tablet.”
Concealed within that sentence is a Best Picture Oscar winner. Which clue applies to that film?
Answer: Drama! You can find the film in the sentence: “Please write the meMO ON LIGHTer…”
“La La Land” won the best Pic…oh wait…no, “Moonlight” won the Oscar for Best Picture at the 89th Academy Awards in 2017 in one of the most bizarrely infamous moments in Oscars’ history, although that distinction faces some stiff competition thanks to Will Smith and Chris Rock. What happened was Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway were given the wrong envelope when presenting, and announced “La La Land” as the Best Picture winner. The mistake was discovered as the producers of “La La Land” were giving their acceptance speeches, and when informed sotto voce, quickly pivoted and announced that “Moonlight” had actually won. “Moonlight” was the coming-of-age story of a young Black man named Chiron growing up in a rough neighborhood in Miami. He struggles with his sexual identity, in three acts, spanning childhood, adolescence and early adulthood.
Tuesdays July Movie Trivia of the day!
Looking closely at this sentence, can you find the Best Picture Oscar winner hiding in it?
“On The Beverly Hillbillies, Grannie hallucinated that she was a movie star.”
Your task here is to find where a Best Picture Oscar winner is hiding, and then see which of the clues applies.
Monday’s Quizzler is….
Five friends- Phoebe, Rachel, Chandler, Joey and Ross- all get together for a birthday dinner. Each friend had something different to drink with their dinner, and each had something different to eat. Based on the clues below, can you figure out which friend had what to drink, what they had to eat and how old each was?
Drinks: Wine, water, champagne, coffee and cocktail
Food: Steak, quiche, soup, fish and chicken.
Ages: 27, 28, 29, 30, 31
- The person who had the steak was a year younger than Joey.
- Phoebe is the oldest; the youngest friend had water to drink.
- The friend who had quiche is the second oldest.
- The friend who had water also had the fish.
- The friend who was 29 had the chicken.
- Ross was the only guy that had an alcoholic beverage.
- Rachel is a year younger than Joey.
- The friend who had coffee was 2 years younger than Phoebe.
- The girl who had the wine also had the steak.
- The person who had the quiche also had champagne.
ANSWER: Chandler, 27, had the fish and water.
Rachel, 28, had the steak and wine.
Joey, 29, had the chicken and coffee.
Ross, 30, had the quiche and champagne.
Phoebe, 31, had the soup and cocktail.
Tuesday’s Quizzler is….😎😎
Below are incomplete words. Place two letters in each bracket so that you can
complete the word on the left and begin the word on the right. Good luck.
Fu (–) am
Ed (–) ar
Dit (–) urch
Ju (–) eam
Ran (–) ese
Divi (–) bt
Pi (–) upt
Dro (–) rse
Tr (–) aze
Bud (–) nder
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com: https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. 😳😳
The World According to the Eucman! 