WELCOME to WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 2nd, 2026
A FEW SIMPLE RULES FOR HAPPY LIVING:
Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone
else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
Avoid arguments with women about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
For high blood pressure sufferers – simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes,
thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.
A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over
and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. You’ll be afraid to cough.
You only need two tools in life – WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and it should,
use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and it does, use the duct tape.
If you can’t fix it with a hammer, you’ve got an electrical problem.
Daily thought: Some people are like Slinkies…not really good for much but they
bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY WEDNESDAY’people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
The new Supermarket near our house has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh.
Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and witness the scent of fresh hay.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled
with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.
I don’t buy toilet paper there any more. 😯
TUESDAY’s Movie Trivia of the day!
I asked my father if Charlie Frost was crazy. Who played me?
Answer: The correct answer was Morgan Lily!
Lily, a native of Santa Monica, California, played Lilly Curtis. Lilly was at Yellowstone in one scene with her father when he spoke to Charlie about what he told him earlier regarding the apocalypse happening. After listening to him yell about numerous cities which would be destroyed in a huge disaster, Lilly and Jack got in Charlie’s van to get to Gordon, Kate and Noah. While in the van, Lilly asked her father if Charlie was crazy. Jack, while driving Charlie’s van, told Lilly he believed a lot of what Charlie actually said made sense. Lilly looked back in the mirror and noticed an ash cloud coming closer but Jack told her not to look at it. Lily guest starred on the TV shows “Curb Your Enthusiasm”, “Criminal Minds” and “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation”.
WEDNESDAYS Movie Trivia of the day!
I was killed at The White House. Who played me?
TUESDAY’s Quizzler….
Can you determine the professions/jobs described below? Each clue is an anagram of the answer.
One Word
- Stamp on
- For trees
- Remit sin
- Menial cop
- Court poser
Two Words (first word is “a” or “the”)
6. Dints teeth
7. He tots income
8. Sit, chat, pay, sir
9. I seen at birth cot
10. Their art’s caustic
Two Words
11. Spirit shaper
12. Poles gather a report
Bonus (two jobs, middle word is “and”)
13. Mass dress alteration
Answer: 1. Postman
2. Forester
3. Minister
4. Policeman
5. Prosecutor
6. The dentist
7. The economist
8. A psychiatrist
9. The obstetrician
10. The caricaturists
11. Parish priest
12. Telegraph operators
13. Seamstress and tailor
WEDNESday’s Quizzler is….
Chris Cross went to the Buymenot Barn to buy a donkey. He looked and looked until he finally found the one which he wanted costing $500. The stable owner, Scammin’ Sam, however, was not ready to take Chris’s word and demanded that Chris paid $100 in advance for the donkey. After thinking for a while, Chris agreed to do so.
When Chris went back the next day, he found that the donkey he liked was dead. He asked Scammin’ Sam for his money back but was told that it had already been used.
A quick thinker, Chris made a deal with Sam. He said that he would keep the donkey but would not pay the $400 which was left in his payment. Sam readily agreed with this thinking that he was giving someone a dead donkey for $100- not a bad deal for him.
Inquisitive, Sam asked Chris what he was going to do with the dead donkey and was told that Chris was about to raffle it off for $5 per ticket. That made Sam extremely amused. He asked, “I thought that you were a dumb one when you gave me money for a dead donkey. Now you’re telling me that you’re going to raffle it off. I don’t know of anybody who wouldn’t complain getting a dead donkey as a prize!”
Chris, however, replied that this wouldn’t be a problem for him. What was his plan?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com: https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. 😳😳
The World According to the Eucman! 