WELCOME to TUESDAY NOVEMBER 3th, 2026
Ten Short English Jokes……
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
What is the longest word in the English language? ‘Smiles’.
Because there is a mile between its first and last letters.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance they looked like hares.
Did you hear what the English, the Irish and the Scots did when they
heard the world was coming to an end? The English all went out and
got drunk. The Irish all went to church. And the Scots had a closing down sale.
There are four kinds of people in the UK:
i. First, there were the Scots who kept the Sabbath – and everything else they could lay their hands on;
ii. Then there were the Welsh – who prayed on their knees and their neighbours;
iii. Thirdly there were the Irish who never knew what they wanted – but were willing to fight for it anyway.
iv. Lastly there were the English who considered themselves self-made men, thus relieving the Almighty of a terrible responsibility.
What do you do if you are driving your car in central London
and you see a space man? Park in it, of course.
What government agency is responsible for finding lost vicars?
The Bureau of Missing Parsons.
Last night there was a big fight in our local fish and chip shop
– a lot of fish got battered.
Last night a man fell into a barrel of beer and drowned
– he came to a bitter end.
Did you hear about the man who was convicted of stealing luggage
from the airport? He asked for twenty other cases to be taken into account.
Have a WONDERFUL TUESDAY’ people, stay safe, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
GUARANTED TO MAKE YOU LAFF!
When my husband and I arrived at our local Ford dealer to pick up our car,
we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department
and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle
and discovered that it was unlocked.
‘Hey,’ I announced to the Mechanic, ‘It’s open.’
His reply, ‘I know. I already did that side.’ 🤔😉😂🤣
MONDAY’s Movie Trivia of the day!
What is the aptly named title of the 1956 film, starring Rock Hudson, Liz Taylor and James Dean,
that follows the story of a wealthy Texas cattle rancher who develops a personal rivalry
with his former ranch hand who becomes an oil tycoon?
Answer: The correct answer was Giant!
George Stevens directed this expansive epic film that can only be descibed as ‘Texas-sized’.
Alongside the three A-level actors in this film, also appearing are Sal Mineo, Dennis Hopper and Mercedes McCambridge.
TUESDAYS Movie Trivia of the day!
My favorite epic, the epic to end all epics, is the 1959 film ‘Ben-Hur’. William Wyler undertook the massive task of directing this 212-minute movie that features an entire chariot race. Which actor accepted the task of taking the title role in this grandiose production?
MONDAY’s Quizzler….
With a 7-minute hourglass and an 11-minute hourglass, can you
explain the quickest way to time a boiling egg for 15 minutes?
Answer: Start both hour glasses as the egg is dropped in the boiling water. When the sand stops running in the 7-minute hourglass, turn it over. When the sand stops running in the 11-minute hourglass, turn the 7-minute hourglass over and leave the 11-minute hourglass. When the sand stops in the 7-minute hourglass, 15 minutes will have elapsed.
TUESday’s Quizzler is….
Six years ago, the Wilson family became the talk of their tiny town when Mrs. Wilson gave birth to identical quintuplet girls. Mr. and Mrs. Wilson loved their daughters very much, but discovered very quickly that they couldn’t tell them apart. Even as they grew older, Mrs. Wilson had to dress the girls in different colored shirts to differentiate between them.
One day, Mrs. Wilson took Suzie, Sally, Samantha, Sara and Christina to the mall. The girls were very excited because they were always allowed to stop for ice cream at the Fantastic Flavors Ice Cream Parlor. Each girl always ordered their favorite flavor ice cream, and no two girls had the same favorite. Unfortunately, after they all had their ice cream, the five girls got separated from Mrs. Wilson. In her panic, Mrs. Wilson forgot which color shirt each girl was wearing, and therefore couldn’t identify them when the security guards found them. Can you help her?
- The five girls were Sally, the girl wearing green, the girl wearing white, the girl who ordered Coffee Ice Cream and Sara.
- Christina ordered a flavor of Ice Cream that started with the same letter as her name.
- Samantha, Sara and Sally were wearing shirts that reminded them of their favorite parts of summer: the color of sunshine, the color of grass and the color of the sky on a clear day.
- Mrs. Wilson was upset when the girl eating chocolate ice cream dropped some on her white shirt, and reminded herself to stop at the grocery store and buy some bleach on the way home.
- Sara could never decide if she liked Strawberry, Chocolate or Vanilla Ice Cream the best, so she always ordered the flavor that had all three.
- The girl who loved Mint Ice Cream wore a green shirt. She later made the observation that they were the same color.
- Christina was not wearing a white shirt or a blue shirt.
- Sara was not wearing a blue shirt.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com: https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.
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