WELCOME to WEDNESDAY JULY 22nd, 2026

Here’s The Story…..
As you may have guessed from the title, once upon a time, there was a cowboy, named Sam Smedley. As you may also have guessed, he had a nasty disposition. In particular, if someone else beat him at the rodeo, Sam would send him one of two things, via the Internet. (What you might not have guessed is that this takes place in the modern era!)

If Sam felt that the other cowboy beat him by some sort of trickery or sheer luck, he would send him a picture of some kind of dung. Which kind he would send depended mainly on how badly he thought he had been cheated. If it were merely a bit of luck, it might be human dung. A bit worse would be horse dung. If he were feeling very cheated, and downright ornery, he might send a picture of coyote dung, or even snake dung. In between were things like cow, dog, cat, mouse, sheep, and many other types of dung. Sam wasn’t all that bad at rodeo things, but he wasn’t all that great either, so he got beaten quite a lot… and naturally, most of the time he thought it was by trickery or sheer luck.

On the other hoof, on the rare occasions where Sam felt that the other cowboy won fair and square, he would send a large, high-resolution, autographed photograph of the woman he loved. This was, of course, Dale Evans. (No, the Nasty Cowboy is not Roy Rogers, may he rest in peace! Naturally, Dale Evans didn’t even know that Sam existed.)

Eventually, much to most rodeo people’s relief, Sam died. Despite his lack of sportsmanship or outstanding talent, he was somewhat well known in the rodeo circuits, to both fans and cowboys alike. Therefore, some fellow cowboys (some bunch of clowns, perhaps?) decided that someone ought to write and publish his biography.

The book proceeded smoothly, through Sam’s parentage, birth, childhood, adolescence as a ranch hand, early adulthood in an assortment of manual labor jobs, and even the beginnings of his rodeo career. However, when it came to his bizarre way of “congratulating” those who bested him, they were torn between telling the truth, and not speaking ill of the dead. In the end, truth won out, because the biographers decided that the email of the feces is more Smedley than the Dale. 😯
 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY ‘people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

Funny Pun Jokes for Adults One Liners 😆
Fast jokes. No waiting. Just straight to the groan zone.
 Funny Pun Jokes for Adults One Liners 😆
Fast jokes. No waiting. Just straight to the groan zone.

I used to hate facial hair but it grew on me
I told my fridge a joke. It cracked up
I tried to be normal once. Worst minute ever
My calendar and I are not on the same page
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me
I’m reading a book on glue. I’m stuck on it
My bed and I are in a long-term relationship
I asked the gym for help. They said I need more reps
I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something
I told my shadow a joke. It followed me everywhere
I got fired from the clock factory. I kept taking breaks
I’m on a seafood diet but emotionally

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!    
What US city did the teen trio skipping school in “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” spend the day travelling around?

Answer: Police Squad!
Prior to releasing the 1988 spoof comedy film “The Naked Gun: From The Tales of Police Squad!”, there was a short run television series called “Police Squad!”. Both the movie and television series starred Leslie Nielsen as Lieutenant Frank Drebin and George Kennedy as Captain Ed Hocken. The hilarious movie used slapstick, outrageous plot twists, verbal puns, and memorable one-liners.

   
Wednesdays July Movie Trivia of the day!  
What US city did the teen trio skipping school in “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” spend the day travelling around?

Tuesday’s  Quizzler is….
Heather is such a fast swimmer, she is banned both from women’s and men’s races for unfair competition. Even when she goes for a leisurely swim, which she does every day, both in winter, spring, summer, and autumn, in her gorgeous white string bikini, she swims at a whopping 5 miles per hour in still water.

Today Heather swam in a river that flowed at 4 miles per hour. So, when she swam with the current, she went 9 miles per hour, and when she swam against the current, she only went 1 mile per hour.

While she was swimming the freestyle against the current, she lost her bikini top and didn’t notice. When she was exactly 5 miles away from her top, she decided to start swimming the backstroke, but realized she had lost her top when she heard someone say something that I cannot mention because this is supposed to be a family-friendly site.

At this point Heather immediately turned around and swam towards her top. Despite being in such a hurry, she applied the same force as before, knowing the current would help her.

If Heather lost her top exactly at noon, and her speed did not change regardless of whether she was wearing it, when did she catch up to her top?

Answer:  Heather caught up to her bikini top at exactly 2:00.
The current of the river is irrelevant. The distance between Heather and her top will always either increase or decrease at exactly 5 miles per hour. When Heather’s speed against the current is added to the speed of the current (that is, that of her top), or when the speed of the current is subtracted from Heather’s speed with the current, the result is always Heather’s speed in still water.
ince Heather was 5 miles away from her top, it obviously took her 1 hour to realize it was gone. Then it took her 1 hour more to get it back. Add these 2 hours to noon to get 2:00 PM.

WEDNESDAY’s Quizzler….
Can you determine which common word or phrase this picture represents?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com: https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.  😳😳