WELCOME to MNDAY AUGUST 3rd, 2026

Here’s The Story…..
A duck walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender.
The bartender says “What can I get you?”
Duck: Umm. Do you have any grapes?
Bartender (looking surprised and finding the question odd): No, I’m afraid we don’t.
And the duck waddles slowly out of the bar.
The next day at the same time, the duck waddles into the bar, hops up on a bar stool.

Bartender: Hi. What can I get for you?
Duck: Umm. Do you have any grapes?
Bartender (a little annoyed): Hey! Weren’t you in here yesterday.
Look buddy, we don’t have any grapes. OK?
The duck hops off the stool and waddles out the door.

The next day, at the same time, the bartender is cleaning
some glasses when he hears a familiar voice

Duck: Umm.. Do you have any grapes?
The bartender is really ticked off.
Bartender: Look. What’s your problem? You came in here yesterday asking for grapes, I TOLD you,
WE DON’T HAVE ANY GRAPES!! Next time I see your little ducktail waddle in here I’m going to
nail those little webbed feet of yours to the floor. GOT me pal?
And the duck hops off the bar stool and waddles out.

The NEXT day at the same time, the duck waddles into the bar,
walks up to the bartender and the bartender says,

“What the heck do YOU want?”
Umm. do you have any nails?
What!? Of course not.
Oh. Well, do you have any grapes? 😂
 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL MONDAY ‘people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

 
Classic Jokes That Never Fail
Two beginning ESL students went to Honolulu on holiday. Soon they began to argue
about the correct way to pronounce the word “Hawaii.” One student insisted that it’s
Hawaii, with a “w” sound. The other student said it was pronounced like “Havaii,” with a “v” sound.
Finally, they saw an old native on the beach, and asked him which was correct.
The old man said it’s “Havaii.” The student who was right was very
happy, and thanked the old man.
The old man said “you’re velcome.” 🙂😂

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!    
What does Jake offer to buy from the man at the next table in the dining room of Chez Paul? 
 
Answer: The correct answer was His wife and daughters
Jake’s aim is to make himself as objectionable as possible in the restaurant, so that trumpeter, “Mr. Fabulous”, who is the maître d’ there, will agree to rejoin The Band. Jake threatens to come and eat there every day if he refuses.

Mondays July Movie Trivia of the day!  
Why is the ‘Mystery Woman’ trying to kill Jake?

Friday’s  Quizzler is….
I will keep you warm at night.
And I too will keep away the fright.
I will always be very near.
And will be with you to wipe away the tears.
I was with you from the very first day.
And until the last, I won’t go away.
I will help bring the light in your eyes.
And always help to keep your decisions wise.
The world can be a dreadful place.
But I’ll hold your hand, just in case.
Depend on me, I won’t let you down.
It hurts me so to see you frown.
I am there while you sleep, and when you wake.
A friend like this is not a fake.
You will learn the name in which to call.
When you need a hand to catch your fall.
A love like this can not compare.
To every second that we share.
I was as close to you as one can physically get.
Closer than what you think I bet.
I’m always right there by your side.
And will be the one in which you can confide.
You’ll see my title in many places.
You’ll hear my name said by strange faces.
You’ll see me on a Calendar and hear me referred to as nature.
You’ll even hear me in a Bible, in school, or a movie – I’ll wager.
But even heard in all these places I am ONLY YOURS forever.
And we will always be each others – No matter what endeavors.
I alone am not famous, but my title is said by all.
And until the day I’m gone will be at your beck and call.
Everybody needs one, at least to be around.
And most will know them by this one simple sound.
Do you know who or what I may be?
I’m sure you do if you think of me.
 
Answer:   A MOM 
In my case me to my new son – I guess I’m a bit of an obsessive new mommy!
The title is a hint because it is MOM spelled in the order in which it appears in the alphabet.
(A being the first letter) M is the 13th letter O is the 15th letter and again M is the 13th letter.
You will see Mother’s Day on a Calendar.
You will hear Mother – referred to as Mother Nature.
The rest should be pretty self explanatory. 🙂

MONDAY’s Quizzler….
What does this symbol represent?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com: https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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